Stretching The Moment

I admire people who have their shit together.

The day after Thanksgiving, they’ve decorated for Christmas and have sent out their Christmas cards. They’ve already shopped and wrapped gifts. Don’t be shy, you know who you are. I’m so proud of you! Please stand up, take a great big bow and pat yourself on the back. You deserve it!

In moments of delusional bliss, I’m that organized person. In my head, I’m calm, cool and collected. Everything’s planned out and things go the way they’re supposed to go. Delusion can be such a nice place to visit!

Reality? Not so much.

At least I know how to ssstttrreetttcchh a moment.

So on this blog today, that’s what I’m doing because…frankly, I don’t even know what happened that kept me from getting my Thanksgiving post out pre-Turkey Day! But hey, it’s barely December according to my calendar. And so, I give you one last gobble/gobble before you become solely focused on the upcoming Hanukah and Christmas season.

Actually, Hanukah started last Sunday. So a happy one to each and all! And a merry early Christmas, too…because I’m thinking about it right now. I don’t want to forget to send out merry wishes when the tinsel hits the freakin’ frazzle! Also, please note that my Christmas blog post probably won’t be out until…well, let’s just give it until Easter, shall we?

First of all, did you have a wonderful Thanksgiving? What are your favorite traditions? What are you most thankful for this year? Your favorite thing to eat this Thanksgiving was…

I had an unusual Thanksgiving this year that culminated in a post-Thanksgiving shouting match. It was with none other than David’s ex-wife at his No. 2 son’s and daughter-in-law’s home. So that’s never happened in the past 30-ish years David and I’ve been together. During this encounter, David’s ex told me to go to hell…twice. I almost feel like that makes me special…not!

Unlike the reputation I seem to have mistakenly acquired as being somewhat of a pushover, I’m not as much of an enabler as some may think. Or as David told those close to him listening to his ex’s and my heated exchange, “Mona’s not going to put up with anyone’s shit!”

I’m ambivalent about my part in that loud and acrimonious tête-à-tête, especially having learned afterward what David told family members about me and other people’s shit. First of all, I don’t want people thinking that I walk around with a chip on my shoulder looking for excrement of any kind…and especially at family gatherings…in other people’s homes! No, no, no!

Secondly, I thought David might be upset with me because he didn’t want to talk about what happened when we got home. “It’s over,” he said. “Let it go. I don’t want to discuss it.”

However, once David realized that I needed to talk about it with him (and not because he had some kind of empathetic insight but because I told him I needed to), he softened. He assured me he was very proud of me for standing up to his ex-wife aka She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named (SWSNBN ), which is what I will refer to her as from now on. David doesn’t say he’s proud of me just willy nilly, so I considered it very high praise when he did…although, now that I think about it, he may have just said that to get me to shut up already! Either way, while I’m still processing the event by thinking about it, talking about it and writing about it, it helps knowing my husband isn’t pissed off at me and has my back.

Also, before I write anything else, I want to clarify that during this…situation, I remembered to apply Hanlon’s Razor (thank you, Sarah Silvey for introducing that to me.) I quickly ascertained that what was happening wasn’t due to ignorance/stupidity. Therefore, I believe I’ve accurately attributed SWSNBN’s intent and attitude as the hurtful, malicious manure that it was; and I dealt with SWSNBN without the necessity of either a poop bag or even a pooper scooper.

I think I encountered another case of “Hurt people, hurt people.” Damn, why do I seem to attract these people into my life? I hate their attempts to hurt me or people I love and adore, which isn’t cool at all! Yes, I know…I’m allowing it to take up too much time and space in my head! Working on that! Also, that shit needs to stop…yesterday! 

And for whatever it’s worth, while I don’t go looking for trouble, I also tend to not back down to bullies if I can help it.

Thankfully, no one at the get-together seemed to hold what happened against me, even though SWSNBN is their blood relative and I’m just a step relative. Someone at the event told me I held her accountable. Apparently, it was a long time coming. All I know is that I called her behavior for what it was — rude. As a friend told me later, “Rude people hate being told they are being rude.” Truer words…y’all!

Unfortunately, I’m still trying to unload the stress of what happened.

This kind of crap is so very not good for my health and I’m paying the price; plus, I’m still freaked out that this happened in the first place. I think I’m over the whole thing when it just randomly pops into my head. Ugh! Can’t wait until it goes away for good! Good times, y’all. Anyway, additional details will probably follow in the book I’m writing (y’all know the who — but I’ll detail the what, when, how and the potential why if anyone’s interested. Maybe then the flashbacks will totally go away!) Also, I’m sorry I took up so much time writing about this here because this is supposed to be a Happy Belated Thanksgiving Post!

Oh, and I burned myself with scalding hot soup in a freak accident while using my beloved immersion blender. That happened Wednesday evening, though, the day before Thanksgiving, and had nothing to do with the above.

Over a week later, I haven’t figured out whether my owie itches because the area is healing or whether it’s become infected. Can it do both at the same time? I’m trying really hard to take care of this myself and NOT go to the doctor. I clean it several times a day with hydrogen peroxide, then I spritz Bactine on it and then I put Polysporin on it.  I don’t scratch the wound itself, just around it. A friend thought it might be a third degree burn, but after looking up the different degrees of burns 🔥 on Google, I’m pretty sure it’s only second degree.  If you just glanced at it, you’d swear I was wearing a slice of pepperoni on my arm.

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I’m still working on what I’m most thankful for this year — family and friends are always at the forefront, of course! Health is usually right up there as well. However, my health hasn’t been great this year, especially this fall; so the fact that I’m not dead yet is probably what I’m additionally most thankful for at this moment. My health has really sucked balls this fall, y’all!

This year’s Thanksgiving menu at my house included —

  • Sweet potato, pumpkin and roasted butternut squash soup with roasted red peppers and chipotles in adobo sauce, which clearly fought me back by giving me a nasty second-degree burn;
  • Spatchcocked and roasted, herb butter chicken, sitting atop roasted onions, red potatoes, celery and carrots, all smothered in a creamy gravy — because a turkey would have been too much for us to eat, too much time to deal with, too expensive and it turns out that none of us were that excited about turkey any way, so what the hey!;
  • Corn on the cob
  • Mac and Cheese (Stouffer’s) because that’s what my son loves best;
  • Green Bean casserole (which was always my mother’s favorite.) I miss you Mom!;
  • Deviled eggs (David’s and my Dad’s favorite) and Lauren made them this year and so she is now in charge of making them, henceforth, because they were so damned good!;

  • A gorgeous salad with all of the toppings because if I know nothing else, I know how to make a fancy, leaf-lettuce salad which is to die for but is actually probably pretty healthy;
  • Italian sausage and fennel stuffing — I’ve given up trying to make my mother’s cornbread dressing and would pay an arm and a leg if she were here right now showing me how to make it correctly — SIGH!;
  • Sara Lee Dinner Rolls — because for whatever stupid reason, Mrs. Baird’s Bakery doesn’t make their Heat and Serve rolls anymore (WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT?!!!!) ;
  • Cranberry Sauce straight out of the can because nothing else will do when that’s what you grew up with;
  • A gallon pitcher of my special iced tea that never makes it past the day it’s made and in which Lauren and I make Boozy Roosters with; and last but not least,
  • Pumpkin Pie and Berry Cobbler for dessert!

We ate leftovers all weekend long.

Even so, I now have a freezer full of soup, lasagna (because I made that the day before Thanksgiving), and diced up, cooked chicken breast, which I’m going to use in Chicken Tortilla Soup. My favorite thing to eat this Thanksgiving? Well, it was all good, but I loved Lauren’s deviled eggs the best!

Traditionally, we always listen to “Alice’s Restaurant” by Arlo Guthrie at noon on our local radio station and sing all the parts that we know. Also, we always watch the Cowboy Game. Alas, the Cowboy’s let us down this year with a loss to the Raiders in overtime! 😞

Also, I didn’t know that daughter Lauren had never seen the turkey drop episode of WKRP in Cincinnati — or that she’d never even seen any episodes of WKRP in Cincinnati — or that she didn’t even know what WKRP in Cincinnati was!

WHAAAATTT! 

Minions What GIFs | Tenor

So I quickly remedied that situation!

I’ve never seen someone howl with laughter as long and hard as Lauren did…which made me howl with laughter! Y’all know what that means, don’t you? I mean besides having to deal with the aftermath of peeing my pants?

We now have a new Thanksgiving tradition! Woo Hoo!

Lastly, I felt like Christmas came early because over this past weekend, I watched the entire three episodes of The Beatle’s Get Back Sessions documentary on Disney Plus! I never knew just how good it could feel to be a fly on the wall!

Please let me know how Thanksgiving went for you…or whatever else you’d like to discuss…especially if you watched The Beatles documentary!

And if you are a Beatles fan or you just want to know how a wildly successful pop group came up with iconic and beloved songs that some of us still sing today…over fifty years ago…it is priceless to watch!

In case you didn’t get to listen to or watch these on Thanksgiving, please enjoy them now!

and

Also, from Abbey Road and Let It Be —

and

 

and

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TTFN,

Mona

 

 

 

 

15 thoughts on “Stretching The Moment”

  1. I don’t love traditions on actual holidays. I think it gets hard when kids get older and might want to do a holiday with family if partner. My mom thinks she owns the holidays and all it does is create resentment. Also have weird family dysfunctions…but that’s a whole other story. But…have lots of other traditions that I share with my daughter. And I’m ok with that

    Reply
    • LA,
      You are a resourceful woman, and it sounds like you and your daughter have figured it out! Having built-in flexibility is so important!

      Reply
  2. Happy Belated Thanksgiving my friend! I’m so glad you posted this hilarious if not, extremely educational post. I sure hope that you are doing okay from the soup scalding incident. I know how you feel, I’ve done that before too, sucks monkey balls for sure. As for that ex-step BITCH, good for you! I can call her that because I don’t know her and therefore it’s her actual attitude that makes her deserve that name. And I’m being nice because if it were me I’d have named her something that starts with a “C” and ends with a “T”.

    Anyway enough of that C**T….😝. Wow, your Thanksgiving menu sounds awesome! I LOVE deviled eggs and make them every year because my mom always included them when I was a kid. But I never thought of making berry cobbler for dessert. My boys aren’t fond of pumpkin pie, I’ve tired pumpkin cheesecake and other pumpkin desserts, and those are always the ones left over, 🙄. So next year I’ll be making some berry cobbler instead, along with my cheesecakes.

    My kids didn’t know about WKRP IN CINCINNATI either, hell I watched the entire first season on Hulu when it was on earlier this year. The turkey drop episode is freaking hilarious! At least they weren’t frozen! “For the life of me, I thought turkeys could fly”….that line alone is pure comedic gold! It’s so good to hear from you my friend, I look forward to Easter to read your Christmas post! 😆😂😅😝

    Reply
    • Oh My Goodness,
      It’s so good to hear from you, Huntress! You always, always make me laugh! Pumpkin cheesecake? That sounds awesome! I’ll swap you a pumpkin cheesecake for a berry cobbler! We could meet halfway between Dallas and El Paso! I sure wish you lived closer! Sigh.

      Seriously, though, if you’re trying to make a berry cobbler, the one I make is easy peasy or I wouldn’t be making it! The recipe is from Sandra Lee’s Semi-Homemade Cookbook. The book has a green label, and it’s on page 190 in the dessert section (at least in my 2005 softcover edition):
      Ingredients:
      (2) 12 ounce bags of frozen mixed berries (thawed)
      (1) 21-ounce can of Comstock apple or peach pie filling. (I use peach.) And hey, cherry filling might be awesome, too, though I’ve never tried that!
      1/3 Cup of granulated sugar (okay, I probably use about 3/4 cup because I like my filling to be sweet! I say sweeten it to your and your family’s taste)
      1 1/2 teaspoons of ground cinnamon (give or take, I eyeball it)
      (1-2) 18 ounce package/s of Pillsbury refrigerated sugar cookie dough (personally, I use two packages because I like all of the pie filling thickly covered!)

      Directions:

      Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

      Thoroughly mix berries, pie filling, sugar and cinnamon in a bowl. Transfer this into an 8x8x2-inch baking dish. At this point, I usually taste the mixture to see if it’s sweet enough and to make sure it has enough cinnamony goodness in it. If I’m not sure, I get Ryan or Lauren to taste it. When it meets with everyone’s approval, then I proceed to the next step. If not, I add more of whatever I or we think it needs. (Also, I usually just mix everything together in the baking dish. I mean, why dirty an extra bowl if you don’t need to…but maybe that’s just me.)

      Take the raw cookie dough (it comes in a tube) and crumble it over the fruit, covering the fruit mixture evenly. (Like I said, I usually use (2) packages of cookie dough to make sure everything’s covered, especially if I’m making more than the recipe calls for and am using a larger baking dish!)

      Bake until cookie dough is golden and done through and the filling is thick and bubbly (about 45 minutes.) Okay, in my oven, 45 minutes doesn’t cut it. I usually cook this for a solid hour, but your oven may cook things differently. Just check it around 45 minutes and then add extra time if you need to. If it’s soupy or doughy in the middle, give it a little longer in the oven. Just be sure to keep an eye on it every few minutes!

      Also, every once in a while, the filling bubbles out of the baking dish. That’s why I always set the baking dish on a cookie sheet…just in case. I’d rather it bubble onto the cookie sheet than all over the oven. Trying to scrub fruit filling out of the oven is no fun!

      I like this cobbler best after it’s sat in the refrigerator and gotten cold (overnight), but I think it’s supposed to be served warm with a scoop of ice cream! Whipped cream works well, too! I hope you get a chance to make it. BTW, while this works well at Thanksgiving, I’ve also been known to serve it whenever I feel like it! 🙂

      Until next time, I’m sending good vibes and big virtual hugs your way, my friend! M

      Reply
      • Hey there my friend, ohh that cobbler recipe sounds super easy, I’m going to make it for Christmas. I’m planning baked ham with all the trimmings. My boys don’t like turkey on both holidays, what can I say they are some picky mofos, lol. The pumpkin cheesecake is from Betty Crocker you can actually find it on their website. It’s called Impossible Cheesecake, they have the regular version and then they have the pumpkin one. I love it because you just put everything in the blender and pour into a pie plate and TA-DA, instant cheesecake!! Also because I don’t like graham cracker crust and this one take some Bisquick and it makes its own crust. You just put your own fruit topping on it and your good to go.

        I wish we lived closer too, I’d take care of that step-ex for you real good…lmao. Then we could go and have a couple of adult beverages and talk smack, you know normal girl stuff. Some where between Dallas and El Paso……Pecos? Odessa? Midland? Eastlake? I’m in if your game! Thank you for the recipe my friend, I’ll let you know how it turns out!

        Reply
  3. 1. – Ok woman. I need to get you my phone number.
    2. – I saw Arlo sing that song. In person. TWICE. LOVE him.
    3. – Thanksgiving was Thanksgiving. Holidays are just not the same without the love of my life.
    4. – WKRP … OMG the best!!!
    5. – Email me

    Reply
    • Boo,
      1) Do you want to send it to me at waywardsparkles@yahoo.com? If you do, I will call you. We can exchange phone numbers so you know it’s me calling you! Tell me when is the best time to call. I’m on CST, are you? I think you probably are. If I call, shall I continue to address you as Boo or something else? Well, we can discuss all of this over email!
      2) I’m so jealous! That would be so much fun to see him in person. “Because I don’t want a pickle, I just want to ride on my motor…cycle!”
      3) Hugs and much love to you, my friend…
      4) I know, right?!
      5) What is the email address you want me to write to you? If you give it…see #1 above.
      Hugs, M

      Reply
  4. Happy Thanksgiving and all the holidays still to come.

    Boston Market Turkey medallions for dinner – My honey is gone too.

    And to Boo – I went to a ‘fine arts camp’ *when we were all young) with Nora and Arlo Guthrie – with Marjorie (their mother) as my camp counselor. Sadly, I didn’t have any talent

    Sigh – your “like” button doesn’t work for me. I keep clicking it and nothing happens. Doesn’t work on other people’s comments either.

    Reply
    • Barbara,
      I love Boston Market! Is it wrong of me to like their creamed spinach as much as I do? I’ve never tried their turkey before, but I bet that’s really good as well! BTW, did you hear what happened at one of the Boston Market locations out in…I believe it was somewhere in California? People had pre-ordered their Thanksgiving meal at this one location. When they went to pick up their order (Thanksgiving), the location was closed with a note on the door that said they were closed because they didn’t have enough staff to fill orders! Yikes! Not the end of the world, but I wonder what happens after that?!!!!

      Also, I so love the six degrees of separation thing…between the two of us, we know people who know people who know people…therefore, connecting us to most of the people on this planet! Cool beans, huh?

      Barbara, I wish you had a blog, woman! I bet you have some really great stories!

      Also, again, I apologize for the ridiculousness of Word Press and/or my blogsite if the problem stems directly from here! I wish I were more tech-oriented or knew what to tell you about the like button. I appreciate your thoughtfulness and your attempt to push the damned thing!. Also, thanks for letting me know! If it doesn’t work, at least we can still communicate through the comment section and I hope it doesn’t stop you from visiting and commenting! I always love to hear from you!

      Have a lovely December, my friend! M

      Reply
  5. How awesome that you are back to blogging! Hope you’re feeling better. Am curious about the situation with your husband’s ex. It’s always good to hear your love say they are proud of you isn’t it? Your Thanksgiving dinner sounds magnificent! What a feast! We tried something different this year and bought a fully cooked, smoked turkey from Costco. Won’t do that again. It was super salty and well…just not the same. Hubs wants to do a traditional turkey for Christmas. I’m more interested in making the Davis family lasagna recipe. So we’ll see. Merry everything lady!

    Reply
  6. Hey Rhonda,
    You have no idea how long it took me to write this post. I have no idea. It took days, though–way too long! *sigh* On the bright side, I am feeling better (knock on wood.) Oooh, glad I’ve made you curious. Like I said, the details will be in the book. And since someone I know and trust is helping me out in that department…I guess someone may find out what happened long before the book actually comes out. It’s amazing how much I wrote about that situation for this post before I cut it all out and stored it in a file. It really wasn’t blog material, that’s why I cut it out! However, I now have a head start on what I’ll write for that chapter in the book! You’re right that it felt really good to hear David say those words to me…and not to just get me to shut up. I could tell he really meant it. Can you tell that I’m still BEAMING? It was a feast; however, a long time ago, I decided that Thanksgiving would incorporate both traditional fare: casseroles, turkey, cranberry sauce, etc.; BUT it would also include whatever favorite food each of us enjoyed; and NOW, what we eat is still evolving. So instead of sweet potato casserole, why not sweet potato/pumpkin soup? Instead of turkey, let’s just go with the chicken en cocotte recipe my mother used to make for us on special occasions! Did the original colonists eat Stouffer’s macaroni and cheese? No. If it were available to them, would they have? Ya darn tootin’ they would have! (Sorry, I’m not sure where that came from, but my son believes this and so do I!) And that’s why I’m excited to hear that you’re open to trying new things out…even if the Costco Turkey didn’t turn out the way you’d have liked! With that said, YOU should consider making turkey AND lasagna for your Christmas dinner! Or perhaps combine the two and make TURKEY LASAGNA aka TURKSAGNA, which will turn the Davis family lasagna recipe on its head, make it uniquely your spin on it and will be talked about for decades to come! Ha! So what’s for dessert? Also, everything does feel merry at the moment…so when the merriment slows to a crawl…or briefly stops altogether, I’ll hang on to your kind wishes! The best to you and your family this season, Rhonda! We’ll speak more on the flip side! I’ll email you, my friend…and I’ll see you on your blog…which I’m headed to in just a few! Hugs, Mona

    Reply
  7. Family issues aside your Thanksgiving sounds wonderful. Well, the food sounds wonderful, and I’m kind of digging your acronym for a certain problematic person because I keep sounding out SWSNBN in my head as “Swisenbin” which sounds like it could be the name of a Celtic malevolent spirit that tries to mess up holidays but is also really weak and easily driven out.
    Making WKRP part of your Thanksgiving traditions, though, represents everything good about holiday traditions and what they should be: a time to share laughter with those you love. Thanksgiving in particular should not just be a time to give thanks but a holiday to be thankful for. Holiday traditions shouldn’t be obligations; they should be traditions because they’re things you want to do. I know we all feel a sense of obligation around the holidays, but I’m trying to reassure you that if everyone’s happy and having a good time then you have your shit together and you don’t need anyone else giving you shit.
    Also my favorite Thanksgiving food is stuffing, or, as we call it around here, “dressing” because it’s usually cooked outside the bird, especially when someone gets the bright idea to deep-fry their turkey. I’ve had cornbread, oyster, sausage, pecan, and sourdough stuffing and they’ve all been my favorite part of Thanksgiving although I could easily eat an entire plate of deviled eggs.
    I also just realized that anyone who has a mishap with dipping their Thanksgiving fowl in hot oil is missing an opportunity if they don’t say “With God as my witness I thought turkeys could fry.”

    Reply
    • Christopher,
      I’m with you — laughter is the best part of any get-together and we had plenty of that! Also, when my mom was with us, her cornbread dressing was always my favorite thing to eat at Thanksgiving. I’ve never been able to get it right. David loves Stove Top Stuffing, though; so I zhuzhed (am I spelling that correctly?) it with sweet Italian sausage and a little extra fennel. It was good, it was fine…but it wasn’t my mother’s cornbread dressing! Many blessings to you and yours this holiday season, Chris! Hugs, Mona

      Reply

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