I preface this by saying —
- All apologies to my vegan and vegetarian friends!
- Also, all apologies to all animal lovers out there! I am an animal lover as well — remember this poem isn’t for real!
- I know, y’all, I have a sick and twisted mind sometimes and I am easily influenced by others (you know who you are!)
- I guess I should say — all apologies to everyone!
- Disclaimer: No animal was hurt or killed in the creation of this poem.
- Also, I blame Kelly.
- Last but not least, you probably shouldn’t read this while you’re eating.
Outrageous Rage-out Ragout
I tried Outrageous Rage-out Ragout
When a semi barreled through our zoo
There was meat a’plenty
For only a penny
From their big, hearty pot of mixed stew!
There was fox and kangaroo
A few gators and monkees, too
There were bison and bear
Zebra and hare
Lions and cockatoo
I’m not sure what meat that I got
It could have been giraffe or ox
Some bites were gamey
All were umami
‘Cept one bite was apricot
It should have tasted quite awful
Taking bites of goo and the offal
But it was really very tasty
Though a little bit pasty
And it all went down quite well on a waffle
Yes, It was an interesting day at the zoo
Elephants were trampled too
The mess was bad
And it made me so sad
But for the delicious, meaty ragout!
Just trying to make the best of a bad situation. Cuz that’s the kind of optimist that I am!
BON APPÉTIT, Y’ALL!
P.S. It would appear that the tiger in the picture above is a zebra proctologist. Wait — not the second picture of animals — because that tiger is looking straight toward us and we are not zebra butts! I’m talking about the tiger at the top of this post (the first animal picture!)