Skeptic

In knowing,

I know who I am.

If I itch,

I’m gonna scratch until I bleed.

I’ll leave scars,

which should be reminders

that in the future

I should just bear the itch

instead of trying to scratch it away.

 

If only.

 

I try to stay close to the surface.

If I start searching for the truth,

start digging deep,

then I’ll dig

until I pull up whatever it is

I find

and watch it crumble away

beneath the acid of my fingertips.

Another so-called truth

Dismantled.

Another profound disappointment

Found and felt.

 

Impossibilities abound.

 

Santa Claus first,

Then the tooth fairy

and now

THIS.

 

At least at the surface,

I know it’s all lies.

There’s nothing hard or worrisome about it.

It’s simplicity personified.

Nothing to be gained or lost

Or to be led astray.

Again.

 

And knowing that,

therein lies the truth.

10 thoughts on “Skeptic

  1. I think sometimes it’s worth not knowing the truth. If someone you once loved was seeing someone else I think not knowing would ease the pain, yet knowing the true extent of an illness may give a person the incentive to fight it. Its a personal thing. I like to know the truth of things, so I would pick away. X

  2. I question whether I know myself. There seems to be a few of me. Some of me I approve of — others not so much.
    When loved ones fail me I read Eleanor Roosevelts memoir or autobiography. I think its best to acknowledge disloyalty or dishonesty or whatever, and forge on. Not to be fool, but calculating about the way forward. Is the relationship important enough to put up with going through a transformation. The question is how to survive.
    Thought provoking piece, Mona.

    • Sheila,
      Thank you for adding to this dialogue. Anytime I write anything, I want to believe that it is the start of a dialogue and it is always my hope that others will join in with me. You have much to say. For instance, I didn’t know that you read E.R.’s writing as a coping mechanism, but I think I should pick up a copy of her memoir as well. If it helps you, perhaps, it might help me. God knows, I need all the help I can get! I think both you and Pip make relevant, important points — which is one of the things I love best about writing — getting others’ take on an idea because it stretches my own thinking — it stretches all of our thinking! I’m glad you, Pip and Miriam were all provoked enough to comment! I hope you have a wonderful week ahead! May we all survive our relationship with the week ahead! šŸ™‚

      Mona

    • Hey Anita,
      I guess I don’t often realize how many feel this same type of disillusionment and angst I often feel. Sending hugs and well wishes to you, my friend!
      Mona

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