Okay, my husband says that I can’t start my about page with “shit.” But I just did — so there! And I say shit not just to be saying the word itself but because I hate trying to explain myself, which is what I’m supposed to do in this About Page. So, yeah, SHIT!
It’s not just writing explanations that I despise, though. It’s always awkward whenever I find myself in a class or group of some sort and I’m supposed to tell something about myself. I’ve noticed that when people are forced to do this, they either sound too polished aka fake or they stutter and stumble and turn red in the face or they ramble because they talk a lot when they get nervous. And they’re nervous because they’re trying to explain something about themselves that they hope their peers might find interesting or relevant or funny, but then they realize that no one in class really cares that much, except now everyone in class is staring at them not so much with genuine interest as much as with amused horror, which is making this person even more nervous because they realize that they have now talked longer than anyone else has and they can’t seem to stop themselves and oh, dear Jesus, just strike me dead now and make me shut up already! Or I have to write my own obituary. Thanks, Death & Dying class for making me do that! Because writing my obit wasn’t morbid or disconcerting at all! By the way, how can someone get less than an “A” for writing their own obituary?!!! Still, so annoyed about that.
Anyway, sometimes I try and explain who I am in relation to other people, so:
Married? Check. His name is David.
Kids? Check. Their names are Lauren and Ry. Both are adults.
Stepkids? Check. We’ll let them keep their privacy for now.
Stepgrandkids? Check. Ditto about the privacy.
Daughter, wife, mother, stepmother, stepgrandmother, sister, granddaughter, niece, aunt, cousin, etc. All checks.
Maybe the easiest thing I could do is give you my elevator speech: “Hello, it’s nice to meet you, (fill in your name here.) My name is Mona and I’m an emerging writer and humorist who enjoys writing short, narrative essays about the absurdity that is my life.”
I’m just an ordinary woman dealing with Life’s absurdities. This is my humorous and sometimes ironic take!
So how does any of this this relate to you? Great question!
Sharing my stories often reminds others of one of their stories! And then the story fest is — ON! And for me, that’s the best part. Because, really, isn’t that what life is about? Relating with one another? Isn’t that one of the ultimate truths of existence? We are alone, but just maybe, we’re not so alone after all when we connect on some level?
I believe that we are all joined in the absurdity of life, sometimes on multiple levels. So whether you’re dealing with asinine people that leave you shocked or hurt or going WTF!!!!! or you’re dealing with revolutionary technology that is supposed to make life better but, instead, is driving you off the rails or whether you sometimes feel like a freaking cartoon character with an eternal cloud following you around with a stupid punch line just waiting for you in the next frame or two of your cartoon existence or whether you’re dealing with some other experience and you aren’t quite sure what happened and how you got to where you are — I hear you! You are unique, and your situation and life is unique. There is only one of you (thank God!) and you have a story not quite like anyone else’s to tell!
Even so, we do still have commonalities. And that is a good thing because we are all human and it’s important to know there are people out in the world who can offer empathy and understanding to your plight or that we, in kind, can offer words of encouragement or a smile to those who are struggling to make sense of — anything and everything in their lives!
Of course, there are also those times when the sun comes out and the skies are blue and life is good — that is until you realize that you got a major sunburn out there in the sun. It’s at that moment, though, when you realize just how fortunate you’ve been to have a cloud following you around for so long and providing you with some shade. So, yeah, there’s that silver lining. The only thing to do at that point is to pull out the aloe and slather generously — and instead of cursing your cloud, maybe figure out a way to make friends with it!
What I like to keep in mind is that whenever I get to the other side of whatever uncomfortable moment I’m having to go through — and I use the word “uncomfortable” rather loosely here — there’s going to be a helluva story to tell when it’s all over! So embrace the good and the bad and the ugly of your life for all it’s worth and then share it in a way that turns those sonofabitch situations you have to deal with into amazing tales of triumph and glory! So much better than wallowing and whining! Though, I can whine and wallow with the best! As long as there’s wine with the whine! And cheesecake. Good music helps too! But then it becomes a party. Oh, well. If we have to party, we have to party.
So whatever your circumstance, in fair or foul weather, I hope you visit often and share some of your adventures! I’d love to hear from you!
One more thing:
At times I use the entire, glorious spectrum of curse words, sometimes all strung together as one long swear. Because, as Atticus Finch’s brother, Jack, once explained to Scout in To Kill a Mockingbird — and I paraphrase — such language should only be uttered when sorely provocated — and dear God, sometimes I’m sorely provocated! (God bless you, Harper Lee!) Also, I sometimes (read–ALWAYS) have a warped and/or dark sense of humor, so if you are easily offended, consider this fair warning! But hey, this is often the best way I’ve learned to cope with the dastardly pitfalls and challenges that life demands of me. Personally, I’ve never met one shitty situation in life when shouting at the top of my lungs — with feeling — SONOFAMOTHERFUCKINGBITCH — hasn’t helped at least a little!
So Welcome to my blog!
P.S. Full disclosure: I go by a pen name: M.L. James. I use this to protect the innocent and not so innocent.
P.P.S. This morning I got this interesting request from someone asking to quote some of my blog on their site. That was so nice of them to ask! Just so you know, my work is copyrighted and if you want to reprint any of it, just give me a holler and — we’ll see. I’m usually pretty nice about this stuff.