“You Are Cordially Invited…”

I had to laugh when I opened my email this morning. I received an invitation to an upcoming event hosted by the company I worked for this past spring. Mine was a short employment. Also, we didn’t part amicably.

The trouble at my former job began when I found out “things” I neither asked nor wanted to know. Once I found out, though, I responded with, “HELL NO! I’m not going along with that! Are you fucking kidding me?! You people must be out of your ever-loving minds!!!”

Apparently, this was not the team response my employers were expecting from me.

I was formally threatened with a lawsuit (through their attorneys) if I so much as spilled one bean regarding the aforesaid “things.” My former employers proved to me just what lengths they were willing to go to in order to protect their company.

Nope. Scratch that. They were trying to protect their reputations. I tried to get an attorney to try and protect the people I worked with and myself by legally stopping the sheer idiocy of what our employers were doing.

Long story short, I couldn’t stop my employers and I wasn’t going to go along with their idiocy. So, until their clients or the public finds out their nasty secrets and their business suffers because of what they’re doing, they’ll probably continue regardless of who it negatively impacts − because it’s their company and Texas employment law says − well, it doesn’t say they can’t do what they’re doing, even if it doesn’t say they can either.

Anyway, this and more was conveyed to me by the several different employment attorneys I contacted. None would take my case − not because I wasn’t right in terms of being a decent human being (which several said I was) − but because Texas employment law is biased toward the employer and changing employment law in Texas is damned near impossible.

From what I understand, Texas law gives you this option as an employee: (provided there isn’t a Texas or federal statute that says your employer specifically can’t do something), if you don’t like what your employer is doing, then quit − and you’d better keep your damned mouth shut, too − or else!

 Because that’s the way it’s done here in Texas.

The fact that I couldn’t get a lawyer to take my case, plus hearing the sound of my mother’s voice inside my head saying, Let God take care of these assholes! He’ll make them regret the shit they’ve done! has helped me to move on. Not that my mom knows anything about this ordeal, but I’ve tangled with enough assholes in my life to know that’s what she’d tell me if she did. Mom’s usually right.

At this point, I’ve done all I can, even though I didn’t accomplish what I was hoping to − and now I’m “sans job.” Even so, I’m past done with this company. With my integrity intact, I’ve joyously refocused my life toward everything not related to my former employers.

Until today.

The curious thing about this email invitation is that I’m not sure how I made it back on their email list. Once their attorneys got involved, my name was removed because − I guess − they thought my not getting their email updates would − punish me? Did one of their legal eagles seriously come up with, “I know how we can knock her down a peg or two. Let’s take her off the email list! That will teach her to defy her employers!?”

Ooo. Ow. How so very cruel of them. Boy, they got me good with that one. No company emails. Hmm. How have I managed to go on?

Anyway, I haven’t received a company email for about four months now. So why reinstate my name? This must be their version of, “If you can’t dazzle ’em with brilliance, then baffle ’em with bullshit!” And I’ve gotta tell you, I’m definitely baffled.

By the way, if I were to attend their event, I’d be mingling with former co-workers, the same people who were threatened with their jobs (so I was told) if they had any further contact with me. My former bosses turned me into a pariah at this company. As nice as some of my former co-workers are, and as much as they were rooting for me  − between me and their jobs, their jobs pay more. If I attended, I’m guessing I’d be greeted with − awkward silence, maybe?

On the other hand, I’d also be mingling with company clients, none of whom know why I’m gone, only that I’m no longer at the company. I understand from anonymous sources that a few clients have expressed concern about my leaving  and have said they miss me.  That, alone, makes it soooo tempting to go!

Yeah, tempting − but I’ve had enough trouble for awhile.

I would “send my regrets” to my former company’s email invite that so nicely begins with, “You are cordially invited…” but I’d be sorely tempted to RSVP back, “And you are cordially invited to take your cordial invitation and stick it so far up your cordial, collective asses that you choke on it, Sons of Bitches!” However, I’m practicing restraint. Also, I wouldn’t want to appear − bitter. Besides, I’ve moved on. Remember?

Now, I might consider an invitation to the event that celebrates their demise as a company. This thought isn’t so far-fetched given that my former employers are stupid enough to make an enemy out of me (someone who has enough dirt on them to do major damage) and then invite me to an event filled with their clients. If they’re stupid enough to do this, more than likely, they’re doing other stupid things that can only work towards bringing about their downfall.

Until I get that invitation, though, I’m staying away and leaving them up to God − if He’s interested.

The one, satisfying thing about getting their email is that now it’s my turn to hit the unsubscribe button and delete these assholes from my life!

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