The House is Still Standing and No One has Died…YET!

Okay, I didn’t mean to drop off the radar and ghost everyone. Please forgive me. While I didn’t end up at Guantanamo Bay, it certainly hasn’t been a vacation around here either. GOD I NEED A VACATION! Since my last post regarding the stranger in our neighborhood, KABOOM!!! This has been a July of putting out fires, figuratively speaking — though, if the house actually burned down, it certainly wouldn’t surprise me at this point. I don’t believe much would surprise me right now.

Because my new “career” has started to take off aka Practicum I, I’ve had to adult way more than I’m used to—

and I just went through an intensive three-day workshop aka training—

Along with that, there was the thing with my phone—

Then it was and still is loved ones aka family members—

Then there was and still is the carpet—

Then there’s been the TV—

Did I mention my computer and also my Bose?

And then it’s been dealing with child support/ex-husband things—

And right now there’s Buddy, the dog. He’s tote dorbs, y’all!

The house is a disaster because that’s what happens when life explodes — yet, somehow I still manage to do the laundry amidst the chaos and dust and pretend all is well.

IT’S FINE. EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE!

The good news is that I bought some pretty, new clothes to wear as I attempt to muddle my way through some of this.  At least I can dress the part of an adult.

 

 

I vaguely remember telling Allen St. Clair at The Midnight Goose that I asked the universe for more fodder to write about and then VOILA! the stranger in the neighborhood showed up and I had fodder. Well now I have to wonder if he didn’t curse our household somehow. Beware the stranger looking for a place to crap. Ha. ha ha. hahaha.

I thought it was understood but clear (Universe, are you listening?) that I was looking for sporadic fodder to write about and not real shit. Apparently, the message was misinterpreted somewhere along the way. Therefore, I am now asking the universe to please let me catch up with the abundance of fodder aka crisis aka stress aka shit it’s provided me to write about over these past couple/few weeks.

(Kat, at Angel Who Swears,  but for the fact that I know your plate is already full of things to write about, I can see you coming up with a version of the memo that I would like to send to the universe right now — preferably on Oxycontin — that is both succinct, TRUTH and hysterical enough to make me pee my pants!)

Also, incontinence is a whole other situation that we could — but we won’t go into right now.

Anyway, just wanted y’all to know that I’m still alive, no one’s died and the house ain’t burnt — yet!

Stay tuned and I’ll try to write about each of the above in different posts as I’m able!

In the meantime, if you haven’t checked out Kat at Angel Who Swears, who should be writing hysterical, best-selling books full-time!!!! OR Allen at The Midnight Goose who is writing books full-time and, btw, I just bought one or maybe it was both of his books and I’ve started reading and I had to pull myself away because I had to go do something which was so not what I wanted to do because I was already deep into the story and it’s really a great read and I had a hard time letting go of my Nook so you should buy his books which you can find at Amazon because he’s a helluva writer OR Suzanne at My Dang Blog (our Canadian neighbor) OR Pip at Pip’s Tips  OR Tara at Caribou Crossings — well — you’re just missing out! Listen, y’all, I can point you toward gold, but I can’t make you take it! Also, now Allen St. Clair has turned me on to Insomnia Girl and so, YES! I hope you check her out as well! GOLD, Y’ALL!  By the way, if you stop by their sites, please tell them I said “Howdy,” or maybe I’ll just run into you in their comment sections!

Hopefully, I’ll have more for y’all at this time tomorrow or Friday!  If not, somebody send out a search party and rescue me! Gotta go adult some more — PRAY FOR ME, Y’ALL!

TTFN,

Mona