Outrageous Rage-out Ragout

I preface this by saying —

  • All apologies to my vegan and vegetarian friends!
  • Also, all apologies to all animal lovers out there! I am an animal lover as well — remember this poem isn’t for real!
  • I know, y’all, I have a sick and twisted mind sometimes and I am easily influenced by others (you know who you are!)
  • I guess I should say — all apologies to everyone!
  • Disclaimer: No animal was hurt or killed in the creation of this poem.
  • Also, I blame Kelly.
  • Last but not least, you probably shouldn’t read this while you’re eating.

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Outrageous Rage-out Ragout

 

I tried Outrageous Rage-out Ragout

When a semi barreled through our zoo

There was meat a’plenty

For only a penny

From their big, hearty pot of mixed stew!

 

There was fox and kangaroo

A few gators and monkees, too

There were bison and bear

Zebra and hare

Lions and cockatoo

 

I’m not sure what meat that I got

It could have been giraffe or ox

Some bites were gamey

All were umami

‘Cept one bite was apricot

 

It should have tasted quite awful

Taking bites of goo and the offal

But it was really very tasty

Though a little bit pasty

And it all went down quite well on a waffle

 

Yes, It was an interesting day at the zoo

Elephants were trampled too

The mess was bad

And it made me so sad

But for the delicious, meaty ragout!

 

Just trying to make the best of a bad situation. Cuz that’s the kind of optimist that I am!

BON APPÉTIT, Y’ALL!

Mona

P.S. It would appear that the tiger in the picture above is a zebra proctologist. Wait — not the second picture of animals — because that tiger is looking straight toward us and we are not zebra butts! I’m talking about the tiger at the top of this post (the first animal picture!)

 

10 thoughts on “Outrageous Rage-out Ragout”

      • Sheila,
        You might think about, “Great, green glops of greasy, grimy gopher guts, mutilated monkey meat, dirty little birdy feet…” wise words that I wish I’d written! HA! Thanks for your input!
        Mona

        Reply
  1. Oh, check out season three of Stranger Things!! (Your greasy, grimy gopher guts remind me) — You won’t find outrageous ragout made of perfectly respectable zoo animals (even if they are staring at our butts), but plenty of gooey, slimey viscerally-challenged creatures forming from slop on the floor and then looming angrily and ominously at the band of poorly prepared teenagers who of course manage to not end up dead. It’s great stuff!!
    And keep your endlessly creative imagination-engine fueled up and revving! 🙂

    Reply
  2. Patricia,
    I’ve been wanting to check that out. It’s on Net Flix, though, I think and we currently don’t get that. When we do though…

    Reply

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