Little Girl Blue

This last week and a half has been a whir and a blur and I’m exhausted and I’m weepy for some odd reason. So, I promise that in the near future, provided nothing else comes up, I will get to everyone’s blogs and read and comment because, yes, I’ve been remiss; but know that you haven’t been out of my thoughts. I’ve missed everyone.

Only, I haven’t felt very sociable over the last week or so — and trust me when I say that you don’t really want to be subjected to me right now. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. And maybe remiss isn’t exactly the right word because these last two weeks have really been a time crunch, which irritates the shit out of me, but there you are. I just haven’t felt my best. I mean, I’m okay physically, but I just feel like weeping for no real reason. And I’m overreacting and bitchy. I don’t know why. A cry would probably do me good, but since I have nothing to cry about, it isn’t happening.

My friend Lilibeth was surprised when I stated that a mutual acquaintance had gotten on my nerves and then went into some detail about that. Lilibeth said with surprise, “That doesn’t sound like you.” And so…yeah. This really isn’t how I normally feel and normally react, but there it is — I’m not feeling quite like myself and I haven’t felt like being nice and I have damned little patience right now and so I’m not a nice person to be around. And while Lilibeth was a little shocked, she’s also a very good friend and she loves me despite my faults and so I’m lucky to have her in my life. Also, David and Ryan have been sweet and supportive, too, so it’s not that I don’t have support…everyone’s been so fucking kind and supportive! So what the fuck is wrong with me?!!! Sorry. See what I mean?

Anyway, I’m irritable as shit and weepy and no, it’s not that time of the month. So, maybe it’s best that I haven’t commented on people’s blogs because my ability to communicate in the way I want to communicate and the way I’m communicating right now which is with a fair amount of bitchiness…well, now I’ve lost my train of thought. FUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!!!! Hopefully, you get the gist of whatever the hell I’m trying to say.

Anyway, you’ll hear from me when I feel decent again. Just know that whether it’s dysthymia or stress or maybe something that I’m sad about that I’m out of touch with or because maybe I’m cultivating a cold or some other physical ailment — because I usually feel this way just before I come down with illness — I’m really annoyed that these feelings just won’t go away on their own. All I ask is that y’all bear with me — or not — and know that eventually, my bitchy side will settle down and I’ll feel better and then I can come out and play again; when I can be kind and not a mean bitch. If any of that makes any sense. In the meantime, I’ve put myself in time out.

So I just thought y’all might want to know what’s going on. I haven’t disappeared on anyone and I’m coming back asap. There’s really nothing anyone can do for me. I just need to get over myself. I think I’ll just sit here for awhile and listen to Janis. Maybe the tears will come. Maybe I’ll feel better tomorrow. Or maybe not. I dunno. Anyone else who needs a good cry is welcome to join Janis and me.

TTFN,

Mona

 

20 thoughts on “Little Girl Blue”

  1. Sorry to hear you’re going through this. But no worries. Take your time, have a good cry, or scream… we’ll be here when things look brighter.
    😊

    • Hey River,
      You are a constant source of support, fun and understanding aka an amazing friend! Thanks so much for just being you! I’m feeling much better and looking forward to enjoying all the hedgehogs and deer in your beautiful garden! Mona

    • Hey Raegan,
      Thanks so much for your patience and support. I’m finally over my…mood? I don’t know what else to call it. Big hugs back to you, my friend! Mona

  2. It’s hard to be so honest, especially with the world at large. Bravo for that, Mona, and because you can be so honest, my heart can hear you, and so can everyone else who loves you. I go back to a concept that makes a lot of sense to me, something to “do” when someone you know is grieving or out of sorts or troubled or ANYTHING outside their norm — just “walk alongside.” I have no idea what’s going on in your world (clearly you don’t either, and that happens), no advice to offer, no illusions that I could understand or actually help in any way, but that doesn’t mean you can’t know I’m there anyway, walking alongside anyway, caring anyway. And maybe that tiny piece does one tiny bit, and maybe, maybe, someone’s tiny bit (most probably not mine but instead someone else’s tiny bit) tips the scales back in favor of light and good and balance and peace. In the meantime, know I am next to you in spirit and hoping that this blip shall soon pass.

  3. Patricia, Thanks for your understanding and support! You have no idea how much it has meant to me to know that you’ve been walking quietly along beside me, not judging and not trying to fix, just being there! I love you, too, my dear friend! Mona

  4. 💜 Katherine,

    Thanks bunches for your support and patience! I’m finally feeling like myself again and I love your blog, btw! Can’t wait to read more of it! Are you a Janis fan, too? Mona

  5. It must be something in the air—I almost cried the other day when the grocery store didn’t have my frozen pizza shells. I’m not a crier normally—I think I’m just exhausted. Love you, Mona—hope you feel better soon ❤️

    • Suzanne,
      I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling blue, too! Damned grocery store, not having your frozen pizza shells — how rude of them! I think that would have brought me to tears too, the way I’ve been feeling. I’m with you that there must be something in the air and/or we’re all exhausted. I love you too, my friend! Take good care of yourself. If you ever come down to the DFW part of Texas, I’ll take you out for pizza and wine or wine and wine — whatever you want! Thanks for your support! Anyway, I’m finally feeling better and I hope you’re feeling better too! Mona

  6. Everyone’s exhausted this week! It’s crazy! You’re probably tired too.
    Or maybe… you’re being a bitch because everyone in your life is being kind and supportive. I’ve noticed, whenever I’m being extra, Don turns very sweet, and vice versa. Would you like me to be the bitch for a while and see if it helps you become the kind and supportive one? 😉
    Love you millions. <3

    • Hey Jan,
      Thanks for taking the time out to respond. We were talking about how you weren’t feeling yourself and then I started feeling down and…well, I’m glad we’re both feeling better now! I do appreciate the peaks much more so than the valleys. Mona

    • Sarah,
      You’re such a wonderful friend! I’m trying to visual you being extra and it ain’t coming; not that I’m sure you can’t be, but I’ve just never experienced you that way; but thank you for volunteering to outbitch me so I could get over myself. Not too many who would do that for me. I so love you, woman! Mona

  7. I am sorry I am just now reading this. We all have peaks and valleys. If we didn’t go to the valley once in awhile we would never appreciate the mountain top❤️ Jesus says to Take heart for He has overcome xxxoo

    • Hey Andie,
      I’m finally feeling like myself again and wanted to thank you for your patience! So you’ve been in that funk, too? It was really weird. Something in the air, you think?

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