THIS IS SO MUCH FUN! And yeah, it’s probably not appropriate and not politically correct and all that that implies — HOWEVER, I’m putting this out there in jest and for entertainment with the mutual, implied understanding between me and my readers that those who are reading my blog know that I have a warped sense of humor and that this is not to be taken seriously! If you choose to read further and then become offended even after being warned — then I don’t know what more to say other than please go back and re-read my About Page — SIGH!!!! AND THEN CONSIDER CHANGING THE CHANNEL — ER — WHAT YOU’RE READING!
For everyone else, please − read on!
Yesterday, I was reading someone else’s blog who introduced all her readers to another site that has a fun and fancy tool that Jess Zimmerman and Halimah Marcus came up with called Electric Literature’s Male Novelist Description Generator!
So of course, I’ve spent most of my morning playing with it. It’s kind of like Mad Libs, meets how to tell what your stripper name should be, married with the name game. Yeah, it’s that much fun. HEE HEE HEE! Basically, it’s how a male novelist might describe you via using this handy chart which matches columns of words that correspond with the letters of your first name. Then you plug in those words into this sentence “She had A like a B C and I D to E her.” (A, B, C, D and E are columns of words.) You can find the chart on their site! I’ve been having fun with names all morning!
Anyway, once I read what this was and played with it for a while, I knew this had Lilibeth’s name written all over it because she is honing her sex scene-writing skills.
SO THIS IS FOR YOU, LILIBETH!
So for instance, using Lilibeth’s name, you’d use “L” for column A, “I” for column B, “L” for column C, “I” for column D, and “B” for column E. If you run out of letters because you have a short first name, then you start using the letters of your middle or last name, depending on your preference.
So using this handy, dandy chart, Lilibeth’s name turns into this sentence — “She had legs like a luscious popsicle and I thirsted to marry her!” Now that’s hot!
Our friend Cheryl’s name turns into — “She had a butt like a wrinkled tulip and I dreaded to admire her.” Okay, that’s it. We officially have to come up with a new name for Cheryl because that will definitely not do at all!
Mona L. turns into — “She had a rear end like a tempestuous bedsheet and I longed to compliment her.” I’m assuming that “compliment” is a euphemism for something much more exciting than the word itself! TEE HEE HEE!
So then I used David’s name, which turns into — “She had lips like a silken harpy and I thirsted to grope her.” Oh my! David, my man — I never knew!
For my friend Julie — “She had curves like a soft pony and I thirsted to marry her!” Okay, then. I think that may be, if not illegal, then, perhaps a little awkward — but, no judgments here!
For my sis-in-law, Kimmie — “She had a rump like a luscious melon and I proposed to correct her.” KINKY!
Okay, one more, for my brother Richard — “She had gams like a luscious pillow and I trembled to ravish her.” What the hell are “gams?”
So, Lilibeth, I hope this is something you can use.