Hot Gossip and Questions

If we were best friends in real life,

I would give you all of the sordid details after you promised to keep this hush/hush.

But what the hell, I wanted to tell you, anyway; so I got permission. From my daughter. Because it’s not about her. It’s about her ex.

*clapping excitedly while jumping up and down*

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My daughter stopped by for a short visit on Sunday and right before she left, she says to me, “So, do you want to hear the hot gossip? Because I have hot gossip.”

Was that a real question?

Lauren, my daughter, then tells me that her ex called her looking for advice. (For the sake of this post, I think we’ll call him…oh, I don’t know…how about “Glob?”)

“Spill,” she told him.

He shared that he “accidentally” slept with his boss and now he doesn’t know what to do.

I said, “Well, if Glob and his boss are both single, I don’t really see a problem. Sometimes these things happen.”

The real problem, it turns out, is that Glob cannot stand anything about his boss. He doesn’t like the woman. YET, HE SLEPT WITH HER! ACCIDENTALLY! *snicker*

“Oh, this should be good,” I said, settling into my chair.

To make matters worse, Glob has a crush on his younger co-worker. (Shall we call her BoBo? Why, yes, we shall!) They haven’t slept together.

This whole situation started when BoBo invited Glob for a drink after work. When he got to the place they were meeting, he found BoBo and their boss sitting at the same table. It turns out that the boss and BoBo are best friends. Because, of course, they are! After a night of heavy drinking, their boss, who, apparently, was less inebriated than the other two, drove them to her place. On the way there, BoBo got sick and puked out the car window. Glob was gracious enough to take his shirt off and used it to clean BoBo up a little.

Once they got to their boss’s home, things got a lot fuzzier.

More drinking ensued. Then Glob blacked out.

The next thing Glob knows, he’s waking up the next morning NAKED in bed with his also NAKED boss. BoBo is passed out in the living room.

Glob said he doesn’t remember how he ended up in bed with his boss, but he also didn’t have time to think about it much because he way overslept. He hurriedly dressed  — had to borrow a shirt from his boss — and headed off to work. How he got there, since he’d left his car at the bar, remains a mystery. However he got to work, though, he was two hours late opening up the shop. For most people, that would have gotten them fired.

As my daughter commented, “His boss can’t really be mad and fire him. After all, it’s not like she didn’t know where he was or what he was doing or why he was so late.”

When Glob’s boss eventually showed up to work, she brought him all of the things he left at her place when he dashed out of there. She brought things like: his wallet, his soured shirt…AND HIS UNDERWEAR!

Me: HIS UNDERWEAR? HE WENT TO WORK COMMANDO?!!!!

Lauren: I guess so.

Me: Ew, gross. So then what happened?

Lauren: First of all, Glob doesn’t know whether he and his boss actually had sex or not, but he thinks they probably did. He also doesn’t know whether BoBo knows what happened and whether he should talk to her about it. Lastly, he wants to know what he’s supposed to say to his boss who clearly likes him a lot better than he likes her.

Me: What advice did you give him?

Lauren: I told him I had no idea what to tell him to do, but whatever he did, good luck.

Me: I’d say he needs to find a new job as soon as he can, change his phone number and then forget this ever happened. And he might want to start going a little easier on the booze. Also, he should throw the shirt away. Just saying…

Lauren: It does sound like a very twenty-something-ish thing to do, doesn’t it?

Me: Uh, yeah.

Lauren: But he’s not. He’s in his thirties. And what idiot goes out drinking on a Tuesday night, especially when they know they have to open shop the next morning?

Me: Well, for some people, it takes longer to mature. It makes for a great cautionary tale, though! Also, I hope he didn’t knock her up…because drunken sex…

Things could have been worse. When I checked my phone this morning, this is what came up —

Man Wakes Up in Coffin

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So Lauren’s story about her ex-boyfriend’s inebriated experience loosely reminded me of what happened to Anne Heche last week. I asked my daughter what she thought about that. Lauren had no idea what I was talking about. “Who’s Anne Heche and what did she do?” she asked.

Oh. My. God. Clearly, Lauren’s been living under a rock.

How could she not know about Anne Heche and what’s happened? So I informed her. I’m not going into all those details again, but if you also don’t know, you can read about it here.

What I will say is that the hospital kept a brain dead Anne Heche on life support because she was an organ donor. Presumably, as I write this, her organs have all been harvested.

So Lauren is now horrified that I told her about Anne Heche. She said, “What is this? I bring you hot gossip and you tell me this gut-wrenching story? Who does that? Now I’m depressed!”

“Uhm, sorry…I guess. It’s all I had.”

Rest in Peace, Anne Heche.

As usual, Lauren’s and my conversation brought up questions.

Maybe you know the answer. Or maybe you can speculate. Or maybe you have other questions or comments. You know what to do here. Let’s discuss this, y’all!

  1. If a man is so drunk that he “blacks out,” how can he…ahem…rise…to the occasion? I’ve never been with a man in that situation, but I would have thought too much alcohol would create dysfunction in that area.
  2. David asked this next question after listening to Lauren’s and my conversation — can they transplant organs into others when the organs come from someone who had cocaine and fentanyl in their system? Because blood tests confirm that Anne Heche had both of those substances in hers.

The other thing, if you or someone you know has drug or alcohol issues, and you don’t know where to turn, you can call —

National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Hotline 1-800-662-HELP(4357)

“The National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Hotline provides information on alcohol and drug abuse, local treatment options, and support through hotline counselors to speak with you about alcohol, drug or family problems.”

You can find their website here:

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the above…or whatever else you might want to discuss!

And music —

Okay, the first song that popped into my head was “I Can’t Drive 55” by Sammy Hagar; but under the circumstances, I decided that would be just wrong. So, scratch that.

Also, since I’m on the subject, if you do get wasted, even accidentally, please, please don’t get behind the wheel or in the car with someone who’s been drinking and is behind the wheel. Don’t become a statistic and don’t contribute to tragedy. Call a cab or a friend or a loved one. Someone will come and get you! It’s okay. We’ve all been there! No one expects to go out and have an accident. And some things you just can’t take back or do over! So, again, please be part of the solution, not part of the problem!

Hmm….okay, I think I’ve got it…

and

and

 

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Have a wonderful week ahead, Wayward Friends, and please make good choices, stay safe and bring me fantastic gossip!

Mona

 

 

 

 

 

20 thoughts on “Hot Gossip and Questions”

  1. Glob. You need to get your shit together.

    I must say I didn’t get my shit together (if there is really such a thing) until I was 50. You’re right, Mona – the process might take longer for some. I’m living proof.

    But “accidentally” sleeping with someone? That’s funny!

    Reply
    • Roger, my friend,

      The struggle is, indeed, real on one’s way to maturity. I’m living proof as well — which is why I can laugh at all the boneheaded moves that I’ve and others have made along the way.

      As to “accidentally” sleeping with someone? Yeah, my daughter’s ex is a loveable idiot. Wonder how he’s going to explain himself? LOL. I see it going down something like this — Boss to Glob: “Hey, why don’t you come over again tonight?” Glob replies, “Uhm, when I slept with you, it was an accident.” Boss: “What do you mean, ‘an accident?'” “Yeah, I blacked out. I didn’t know it was you.” Boss to Glob: “If I could, I’d fire your ass right now.” Glob to Boss: “You can’t do that. That would be sexual harassment.” Boss to Glob: “You’d better hope I’m not pregnant!” Glob: “Uhm….oh shit, I never thought about that!” Oh my! M

      Reply
    • I, too, snickered a little at the “accidentally sleeping with”… Seriously? 🙂 A lot of things happen “by accident”, but some… I just don’t see it.

      All I can add is your daughter is lucky that he’s in the “ex” category and not in the “current” category. Good riddance to such “accidents” 😀

      Reply
  2. Mona, 1. I most definitely think Glob’s performance would have been compromised in that situation. 2. I think it just comes down to the condition of the organ(s) in question regardless of what the donor had in their system at the time of death. Other thought: I do think your rejecting “I Can’t Drive 55” as a song of the day was a classy decision. (I actually was behind someone today who didn’t appear to be able to drive 5…)

    Reply
    • Bruce,
      Thanks so much for your input on these matters! Also, since Heche had an anoxic brain injury and oxygen didn’t get to her lungs, wouldn’t that have impaired other body organs as well? I mean…there’s so many things…and so many questions…
      Also, thanks for thinking I made a classy decision. I try. Maybe the person you were behind thought they were driving faster than they were! Ha! I have such a love/hate relationship with driving. I love driving, but absolutely hate traffic. M

      Reply
  3. I cannot answer either of your questions, but admit that I’ve never wondered about the first one but the second one I do wonder about. Maybe they keep the donor is a coma while the drugs clear out of the system? A guess?

    Reply
    • Ally,
      It does make one think about things one never expected to ever think about. You might be right about waiting until the drugs pass out of her system. That, of course, opens up a whole other can of questions.

      Reply
  4. Also, he should throw the shirt away. Just saying…<—–or at the very LEAST wash it!!

    If a man is so drunk that he “blacks out,” how can he…ahem…rise…to the occasion? I’ve never been with a man in that situation, but I would have thought too much alcohol would create dysfunction in that area.<—-I was married to an alcoholic(1st ex). USUALLY it wouldn't work but when he was mad………..ya. One of many reasons for our divorce.

    Reply
    • Boo,
      Oh wow! Sorry to bring up bad memories, my friend! Glad you got out of that marriage. My first one was horrible as well…for other reasons. Hugs, M

      Reply
  5. One thing I’ve learned in my almost 55 years is that people are abusing alcohol at an alarming rate. It’s become normalized and a thing to laugh at. Nothing good can come from overdrinking on a Tuesday with your coworkers. Hence Glob’s story. How do you accidentally sleep with someone? Goodness.

    My heart breaks for Ann Heche, (well, her family now) such a sad story, and this is what people will remember her for. 🥹

    Reply
  6. Hey Suz,

    These are, of course, cautionary tales. Trust me, I’ve made plenty of mistakes through the years and expect I’ll make plenty more. One of the things that all humans on this planet share is their capacity to make mistakes aka “growth opportunities;” and, hopefully, we do learn and grow from them. Thankfully, I’m able to laugh at most of mine. Thankfully, I’ve also learned to forgive myself and, with that said, I’ve also learned to forgive others.

    I found what you said intriguing because I guess I haven’t found that people are abusing alcohol more so now than in the past nor do I think we (as a society) have normalized it. I find it interesting, though, that you do. Matter of fact, I work hard at not normalizing substance abuse by discussing it openly — which usually entails a cautionary tale of the bad and the ugly. I loved the sitcom Mom because it did the same while making us laugh. I miss that show! If we had the time, I’d love to pick your brain on the subject. We’re close to the same age, so where you’re coming from isn’t because we come from different eras or anything. Anyway, the point is, this is something you’ve learned, so you probably know something (most likely a whole lot of things) that I don’t. I enjoy hearing stuff like this from people. 🙂

    Glob, btw, doesn’t read this blog nor does he even know it exists. Even so, I’m not using his name because my intention is never to hurt or embarrass others.

    Just got a call from my daughter. Both she and her boyfriend (not Glob) have just tested positive for Covid. Her boyfriend has Type 1 diabetes. They’re both scared. So am I. Please say a prayer for them. For us, too. We’ve been exposed and everyone in our household has underlying health conditions.

    Gotta run, Mona

    Reply
  7. My 2cents: performance depends on the person. But I’d still guess they only *tried* to have sex. Maybe he did oral favors?? Boss gets responsibility here – for either initiating or accepting with subordinate, regardless of stupor.
    Discussion? Play stupid till Boss brings it up. Go about life/work as normal.
    Word is that some of Anne’s organs were used – but no details so hard to know if that’s true or polite PR. Very unfortunate situation and end to someone who had clearly had issues for a very long time.

    Reply
    • Leeandadll,
      I’m with you. I think he may have tried. Excellent advice as well…and, yeah, his boss should not have gone there. My husband and I liked Anne Heche on Chicago PD. I don’t think I’ve seen her on anything else, but from what I’ve read, she had a hard upbringing…I guess a lot of actors/actresses have. I truly hope she’s at peace and wish things had turned out differently for her. Thanks for stopping by and hope you do, again, next time! I’ll be seeing you on your blog as well! 🙂 Mona

      Reply
  8. It’s good that your daughter no longer is involved with Glob. I get the feeling that he never will grow up.

    Reply
    • Hey Neil,
      Glob’s a sweet dude, usually, but maturity seems to be eluding him. Hopefully, one day, he will find it or it will find him…it may take many, many years though. I’m glad my daughter’s moved on as well…and, apparently and most importantly, she feels the same. By the way, welcome to Wayward Sparkles! So glad you stopped by! M

      Reply
  9. For some reason this didn’t show up in my email or I would have commented long before now but, first of all, as someone who was once almost killed by a drunk driver, I emphatically second not getting behind the wheel after a few drinks. I won’t drive even after one. And, second, there’s a line from Shakespeare that alcohol “provokes the desire but it takes away the performance”. How a guy performs when he’s passed out is beyond me, but everybody processes their liquor a little differently. Unfortunately for him “the boss is coming” now takes on a whole new meaning.
    Yes, I went there.

    Reply
    • Chris,
      I can’t believe you went there but so glad you did! It had to be said! 🤣

      Shakespeare definitely knew human nature!

      Yeah, I’ve had a come-to-Jesus meeting with more than one person about drinking and driving! I don’t understand why that’s ever even considered an option 😕 by anyone, and I’m always the first to offer my services as designated driver. Glad you survived, my friend! Stay safe! Mona

      Reply
  10. That is some high quality gossip. I cannot answer either of your questions, but I have so many more of my own. Does Glob’s boss know, or is her memory equally hazy? How did she feel when she woke up to an empty bed, Glob’s underwear, yucky shirt and wallet and drunk friend in the other room? Is she wondering whether she needs to self-refer to HR? Who’s shirt did Glob borrow, or did he spend the day wearing a woman’s shirt which buttons up the opposite way to a man’s shirt?

    Reply
    • Hey Debs,

      Again, sorry it’s taken me so long to reply, but welcome! I’m glad you enjoyed the gossip. You have some really great questions and I wish I could answer them. I’ve given you all I know and haven’t heard an update on the situation. Because Glob works with animals, I’m going to go out on a limb and speculate he borrowed a t-shirt, but I could be wrong. Everything else is anyone’s guess at this point. Mona

      Reply

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