David and I have known each other since 1987. We married in 1997. Since then, he’s scared me once or twice.
For instance, when he went into surgery a couple of years ago and they took a great big chunk out of his face because of squamous cell carcinoma and left a huge gash/scar that seeped with blood when we got him home and then his entire face turned black and blue over the next several days — that was shocking and concerning. He’s tripped and fallen, of course; but then, haven’t we all? I tease him that when he’s feeling left out, he does something dramatic so I’ll write about him in my blog. Even so, he’s never scared me as much as he did last Thursday morning.
That, of course, means that I’m writing about him in my blog.
I work just off our kitchen in the area that was once a walk-in pantry. We converted that space into my office years ago. It provides enough exposure so that I can keep an eye and ear on what’s going on in the house, while also allowing enough privacy so that I can focus on whatever I’m working on. Lauren’s been working at the kitchen table because of the stay-in-place orders. That area gets great sunlight in the morning. Sitting there, she can see just about everything going on in the kitchen and living room. Lauren and I were both working and everything was normal and ordinary; a typical Thursday morning. Lauren was on the phone speaking in jargon that I neither understand nor care to. I was at my computer responding to someone who’d commented on my last blog post.
From where I was sitting, I couldn’t see him, but I could tell that David had walked into the kitchen — as is his routine — and started making coffee. I heard the water faucet turn on and off. I heard the coffeemaker start brewing. Lauren and David were doing what they normally do. These are the sounds, the background noises, I listen to when I write every morning.
Then I heard him bang into something and cry out.
Okay, that happens. We stub our toes. One of the dogs or cats gets underfoot and causes us to trip a little and we might bang our knee into the cabinets. I thought that was probably what happened. It’s painful, sure, but not a big deal. As I told the ER doctor, “There’s always someone cursing or yelling or banging into something at home, so I didn’t initially think anything of it. It was my daughter’s scared voice that alerted me something was wrong.”
I heard Lauren say loudly to David, “Are you okay? Dad? DADDY!” I heard her tell the person she was on the phone with that she needed to go. By that time, I was beside David. He was on his back on the floor, convulsing and throwing up. David couldn’t answer me. He wasn’t coherent. I rolled him to his side so he wouldn’t choke. I told Lauren to call 911. Maybe she was already calling 911 by then.
I thought I was watching my Beloved die.
David woke up before the paramedics arrived. He looked at me puzzled and angry. “What are you doing,” he asked. “Get off me! I need to get up.”
“No,” I said, “the paramedics are on their way. You’re staying right where you are.”
“Paramedics? That’s ridiculous! Cancel that. I don’t need paramedics and I’m not going to the hospital.”
I said, “You passed out. You were convulsing. You threw up.”
“What are you talking about? I did not,” he insisted.
The five fire department guys/paramedics who showed up wouldn’t let him get up either. His blood pressure was too low. As I ran around getting his medications so the paramedics could write them down and got myself ready to go to the hospital, I heard one of the guys tell him, “Sir, I can’t let you. If you try to get up, you’ll pass out again. The only place you’re going to is the ER.”
I followed behind in my car to the hospital.
On the way, I alerted a family member on David’s side of the family to let him know what happened. He let everyone else know. We got calls from loved ones throughout the day checking on us and asking what they could do to help. Lauren took the rest of the day off from work and stayed home with Ryan, who was still asleep when David and I left for the hospital.
After checking David out to make sure he was okay, the ER doc let him go home with the instructions that —
he was to see his regular doctor as soon as possible,
he wasn’t allowed to drive until then,
no golf on Friday,
he was to take it easy for the rest of the day,
and he shouldn’t take the one pill he’d taken that was the only thing different from his normal routine. The ER doc suspected that this new pill was the culprit; although, there was no way he could determine that for sure.
Lastly, if David passed out again or started to feel really bad, he was to come back.
David spent most of Thursday in bed.
I checked in with him every so often. At one point, he called me on his phone to ask about his coffee, “Hey, you didn’t throw my coffee out from this morning, did you?” I told him that honestly, I hadn’t thought about his coffee. I’m sure it was still sitting on the counter. He said, “Good. I was worried you did. Don’t throw it out. I’ll heat it up and drink it later. It’s still good.”
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my husband — more worried about his coffee than anything else.
Apparently, David had an adverse reaction to a new medication. He’d seen our doctor two days prior for his regular physical. David only had the opportunity to try the new pill once. When we finally saw our family doctor again on Friday, he tweaked several of David’s meds. He took him completely off the pill in question. That pill is now on the list of pills that David will never take again. Actually, it’s the only one on that list since David’s never had anything like this happen to him before. Our doctor assured us this was a one-time event. He told us that David’s fine now. David could even drive. He could do whatever he felt like.
That’s good. Really good.
Life’s been weirder than normal since last Thursday morning. I’ve been weirder. I’m trying to maintain calm and just let things get back to the way they were, but there’s worry in the small, quiet areas of my mind where there once was none. I told David that he’s just going to have to bear with me for a while. I might be a little overcautious with him until I feel more comfortable. What I didn’t tell him is that I can’t shake the image of him lying there on the kitchen floor. I felt so damned helpless to do anything other than cry out for help and pray that help arrived in time.
I feel like David and I have crossed over some…line; although, I can’t really explain what I mean by that. I’m just glad he’s okay and ornery as ever.
I love you, David. Please don’t do anything like that again.
Also, thank God for Lauren! She’s the unsung heroine in all of this. I love you, too, my Girl, and I so appreciate all you do!
Thank you, Family, for all of your love and support!
I want to thank everyone who helped us on Thursday — all of the staff at the hospital and all of the paramedics who came when we needed them. You truly are badass heroes and our family appreciates you!
MOST OF ALL, THANK YOU, GOD, FOR EVERYTHING!
Forgive me for the self-indulgent music selections.
Peace to you all and please take care of yourselves and one another,
50 thoughts on “David: Thursday, June 18, 2020”
HOLY CRAP! That must have been scary! And just the image of someone convulsing on the floor bothers the shit out of me, so I can only imagine how you must have felt; probably still do! I’m glad the only problem was a new medication. It could have been so much more. Did he get to drink his coffee? Lol.
I’m glad that it wasn’t anything worse either. I don’t even want t0 imagine. And yes, he reheated his coffee later and drank it. Yech. 🙁 Mona
I totally “get” this. Being in my 50s now and having a heart that has had wonky wiring since my 30s, and having a husband who is not yet 50, but who has lots of genetics to suggest that we will eventually travel down certain roads – yep, I feel you. It’s a feeling of finiteness, I think; no longer thinking, “Well, we have sooooo much time.” I’m so glad it was only a medication side-effect and not something more serious. And David, if you read this? Life is very short; throw the old coffee out and make a fresh pot. ALWAYS drink the fresh stuff.
You know what, Lori? That’s it exactly. Thank you for clarifying what I guess I’ve been afraid to consider. I guess I still am. BTW, David said he enjoyed his old coffee. He’s stubborn like that. May we all have much more time, my friend! You have gorgeous grandbabies and fur babies and a sibling that needs you. David and I are needed as well.
Holy crap! That sounds terrifying! I’m glad he’s doing okay now!
It was terrifying. Still is when I close my eyes. I’m glad he’s doing okay now, too! BTW, you were the one I was replying to on my last blog when this all happened. 🙂
I hope I didn’t jinx him with my facetious talk about Jesus.
No worries, my friend! David is doing well, and I will be sure I have whatever I need on hand if Jesus ever decides to come to my door for bananas foster! 🙂
We are older than you guys and are now in the ‘everything is worrisome’ phase of our “golden years”. Ken did that passing out and vomiting them to me a little over a year ago. He too doesn’t remember it. I wonder why that is. I’m so glad they discovered the issue for David immediately and didn’t have to keep him for days of testing. Hopefully he doesn’t do that ‘nothing is wrong’ thing that men sometimes do when they’re ill. And you! Try to calm down and breathe so that you can be O.K. too.
Oh wow, Barbara! So did y’all find out why Ken passed out and vomited? I’m going to assume he’s okay now. Are you okay? Also, sounds like you’ve got my husband pegged. He definitely does the ‘nothing is wrong’ thing. Thanks for your kindness. Lauren and I remind each other to breathe and that everything is fine now. It was just as upsetting for her to see her dad like that. We are still processing, but as long as nothing else happens (at least for a little while), I think we’ll be all right. Be well, my friend! Mona
Totally confusing time. We were in the process of moving from our home into a much smaller one (the next day, in fact). Various doctors were at odds about the cause – one being sepsis which he might have gotten when in the hospital several weeks earlier. Turned out to be a urinary tract infection, or so was agreed upon. I think there were too many different symptoms for it to be that simple of an answer. And what could all that throwing up have to do with anything? But he’s been O.K. since then so I’m not complaining. Much.
Again, wow! I’m not sure people are aware of just how insidious UTI’s are, especially in older women. I don’t usually connect them with men, but clearly men can get them too. UTI’s have even been known to cause women to hallucinate. It’s unbelievable. I’m glad that you and Ken are in a better situation now. Anytime you need to vent, btw, you are welcome to come here and do that! Better out than bottled up. Mona
OMG Mona! How scary for you all. I’m glad to hear it was just an adverse reaction to a medication. Wow!! Hang in there lady.
Thanks, Rhonda! He’s not allowed to do that again! 🙂
Yikes. How awful to witness, to feel so helpless.
While I haven’t had quite your same experience, I did once watch one of my dogs stumble and fall to the floor, repeatedly, her eyes darting back and forth, panting and struggling. Turned out she had vertigo (also known in dogs as Old Dog Syndrome), but in those initial moments, all I could think was, “Don’t die! You cannot leave me now, not like this.”
I’m relieved David’s better – and you, too! – and that the cause of his “episode” was simple to fix.
Growing old ain’t for sissies!
Poor baby dog! We had a cat (our Birdie Girl) try and die on us as we rushed her to the vet hospital! I know the feeling. I kept smacking her awake and riling her up until we got her help.
She’d ingested rat poison and was dying. She had to have transfusions, including plasma and Vitamin K shots. Spent a solid week in the hospital. $4,000 bill. She was only four years old at the time, and she’s still with us today. Living ain’t for sissies, my friend! Shall we drink to life and growing old? 🥂
Oh, sorry for what has happened. I hope you are recovering, and taking your time to recover. And that David is well.
Thanks Micah! I wish that were the case. However, in this household, you never get a chance to fully get over one thing before the next thing happens — as it did at 3:32 this morning. The important thing, of course, is that David is well! Thanks for stopping by. Mona
That’s so scary! Sending you hugs!
LA! I’m so glad to hear from you! Thanks, my friend, I could use all the hugs you can send! It was scary.
Listen, y’all, for anyone who’s looking for something to read and you don’t already subscribe to LA’s Waking Up on the Wrong Side of 50, she’s an amazing blogger, who always has provocative questions and a sound, thought-it-through-for-herself perspective. She’s a curious soul interested in what others think, and she puts something new out almost every day. So if you haven’t already, definitely check her out at this address ~ https://wakinguponthewrongsideof50.wordpress.com/
I was totally engrossed in your story, and am so sorry about David. An event like that certainly focuses your priorities. I love the part about the coffee.
How are you, my friend? You’re right, my priorities are definitely being focused right now. While I’m not a big coffee drinker, it is essential to David. You as well?
Hi Mona. Thank heavens David is okay! Stuff like that is very scary indeed. Mental images of near disasters linger for awhile. They’ll fade after a time, but never fully disappear. I guess it becomes part of wisdom. Take care my friend. Sheila
I couldn’t agree more. We’re doing the best we can, racking up as much wisdom as we can possibly stand in this household. So much effing wisdom. Sorry. We had another incident during the middle of the night in which a bunch of my things got destroyed. No one’s hurt. It was accidental. Only a few hundred dollars worth of stuff broken, including something irreplaceable with a ton of sentimental value. No way to replace any of it. But that’s not for here and what else is new. You take care as well, my friend! Please have a drink for me this evening! ‘K? Mona
How terrifying! So glad it was just an adverse reaction to medication and he’s alright now. Things like that really make you wake up and realize what’s important in your life.
Yep. All of what you said, my friend. Thanks for the hugs! Mona
I’m so glad he’s okay now. I can’t even imagine how scary that must have been.
All the best!
It was scary but he’s back to being himself. Thanks for stopping by. BTW, I’ve noticed that you haven’t had as many posts out. I miss them, though, I imagine you’ve been dealing with planting your sunflower field/garden. How is everything going in your world?
Yikes. What a shocker. I’m so glad everything worked out.
I’m sososo glad David is okay and it was a med scare and nothing more. The line you speak of though, I get that. For me it was like a piece of growing up, like you understand things you didn’t before. Maybe you just understand them differently or more deeply, but you somehow know you will never be the same. How wonderful to have such a dear husband!! And such a fabulous daughter!! And to have them with you, oh do know that this is more precious than anything.
Best wishes, Patricia
Thanks so much for your understanding and insights. You’re right, my family is more precious than anything. Also, I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again. Hope all is well with you and yours! Hugs my friend, Mona
Oh what a story! I’m glad that David is ok and totally charmed by his insistence that he’ll warm up the cold cup of coffee, instead of wasting it. Your daughter is a good kid. So glad she was there to alert you and lend support. Stay safe, huh?
I just wish it were fictional. While I usually find him charming, I found the coffee thing just annoying. I agree with you that Lauren’s the best! 🙂
Oh goodness, Mona, I can’t even imagine! Unfortunately, I’ve been the one to scare my husband… I’ve passed out three times on him now. Perhaps he’s old hat at this point!
THREE TIMES?!!!!!!! Andie, are you okay now? What happened? Is this an ongoing thing for you? If you don’t want to answer that here, maybe in a post on your site? I’m so glad you’re okay enough to stop by, my friend. Please remain so. I don’t know if I could handle passing out on a regular basis. (Lord, if you’re reading this, that wasn’t a dare! It’s an ongoing prayer that you make it not so.)Mona
I’m OK – I promise!! I’ve been hanging out with him for 22+ years now, but passing out once is too many times for anyone! It basically revolves around dehydration, though there have been several different reasons why my body has decided enough is enough. It (my body) is super finicky, but each time is a learning experience to what I need to modify!
That’s good to know that this isn’t something you and your husband aren’t going to have to endure over the long haul…and I guess the more you know the more you can make sure it doesn’t happen again, right? Okay, I’m sending hugs and continued hydration your way, my friend! Mona 🙂
Even though I don’t know David from Shinola* I was terrified and now greatly relieved that he and you and Lauren are all okay now and that David’s back to worrying about his coffee. I hope you’re being self-indulgent with more than just your music selections after that. Also I hope David remembers he doesn’t need to work so hard to get into your blog. Like all good writers you have an eye for detail and you don’t need high drama, or even trauma, to make an interesting story. Next time I hope he does something simpler, like doing a funny dance, and that he doesn’t stub his toe while he’s doing it.
*Technically I think if I saw David and a giant can of Shinola walking down the street I think I’d know the vintage shoe polish wasn’t the one you were married to, but I could be wrong.
I don’t know if not knowing David from Shinola is better or worse than not knowing shit from Shinola, but that made me laugh! Thankfully, thank God, actually, we’re okay even if some of us are a bit traumatized. Hint: David and shinola are not the traumatized ones. Thank you for the compliment about writing. I try. I’ve been told I can catastrophize at times (but honestly, I think I try and minimize, yet remain truthful unless I’m trying to amuse. Then, yeah, I’ll admit I do that sometimes if it’s not important and it might make someone smile or giggle. We aim to entertain. Yet, even then, there is always that undertone of fear or annoyance or shock or concern or happiness; sometimes you just have to dig a bit to get to it.) I also admit that if I can be goofy, well, there’s just not enough goofiness in this world from where I sit. So I try to be that as often as I can. From a blogging standpoint, I’m sharing moments in my life, but I do want my audience to be entertained and informed. Likewise, my Wayward Friends inform and entertain me. This wasn’t just a story about “David passed out, but he’s all right now.” As I said, it’s as though we crossed a threshold. Maybe it’s because David is 23 years older than I am and maybe it’s because he’s the love of my life and I can’t imagine my world without him in it, but there you are. I’m sure David can’t imagine life without his coffee in it. Anyway, I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. Maybe I’ll blog about it. I dunno. Thanks for stopping by, my friend! Since I’m sure I won’t be there, I just want to say to you — Welcome to Texas and enjoy our airport (DFW) anytime you pass through! Also, I always enjoy reading your blogs as well. I’ll look for something less dramatic to write about David as soon as I can find something. Mona
I just popped over to say hi and thank you for visiting my blog – and this post had my heart in my throat! I’m so glad to hear that he is okay. And I completely get that you and Lauren are traumatized. We had to call 911 for my husband once – nothing nearly as dramatic but still scary – and to this day I think I’m still traumatized.
Welcome to Wayward Sparkles! I’m glad to hear your husband’s okay, too! I’m so used to mine being the strong one in the family. Okay, I’m not going down that path right now…enough of that! I want you to know that I loved your June 1 blog post. Excellent…just excellent — and it spoke to me on so many different levels. I don’t know if any of my readers will read my response to you, but if y’all are and you get a chance, you should definitely read Gigi’s post at
I think it will speak to you as well!
Anyway, thanks so much for stopping by, Gigi, and I hope you visit often. I know I look forward to reading more from you! 🙂 Mona
Awww – thanks for the sweet welcome and compliment. I will definitely be back!
Yikes! That must have been a scary experience for all of you… Glad he is doing better now, and hope you start to feel a bit more peace of mind again soon.
Thanks bunches! He is doing so much better and…well, we all are! Glad Jett’s doing better too! 🙂 Mona
It’s okay! He’s fine now. Here, have some milk and oreos. I hope you like oreos, that’s all we have on hand. Mona
I LOVE Oreos. This makes everything better.
Well, that and knowing he’s OK now. Holy bejeezuz. Talk about the cure being worse than the disease.
Yep. As it turned out, he was taking several meds that could cause a triggering event where his blood pressure bottomed out causing him to pass out and seize. When he and I went back to the doctor, we found this out. He had one pill too many that sent him over the line. Needless to say, the doctor decided to put him on other meds that had fewer side effects than the ones he was taking that elongated his heart rate and/or caused his blood pressure to drop. Also, the doc told him that he shouldn’t take the one pill that sent him over. Now, he’s having to go to a heart specialist to be tested to make sure damage wasn’t done to his heart. That will happen in September. Ugh. We don’t think that’s a problem and he hasn’t had any other issues (knock on wood/my head), and hopefully this was just a one-time thing, but the doctor is insisting. That’s good too that it was a one-time thing because I don’t think I could handle another episode like that! Getting older-ish isn’t for the faint of heart! Mona