“God, Mom, I can’t believe you’re having so much trouble eating a sandwich. IT’S. A. SANDWICH. THEY ARE LIKE THE EASIEST THINGS IN THE WORLD TO EAT! But as Lauren was saying this, one of my avocado slices decided to escape, again, in the most ungraceful display of sliced avocado rebellion I’ve ever encountered. It plopped to my plate. Talk about perfect timing!
Okay, Smartypants, is the saying, “the spitting image” or “the spit and image?”
No, Baby. That was the day before yesterday. Remember, that was on Saturday, right before we had the cold front move through and we got the tornadoes, torrential rain, and death and destruction? Ring a bell?
Kind of. I was working. Plus, Saturday … that was the day when everything was going wrong at work. Remember? I told you all about it and how super busy I was … so the weather was like the least of my concerns.
I’ve never heard of someone being so distracted that they forgot they needed to pee. Clearly, you’re not on your ADD meds. Look, why don’t we just go back to the restaurant?