Late Friday morning I went to get my Xolair shots because…hives…also it helps tremendously to keep my asthma under control-ish. David went with me as he usually does because he’s the one with the coin. That means he also gets to sit with me for the 20 minutes I have to wait to prove that I didn’t have an allergic reaction to my two shots (one in each arm.)
Office staff normally doesn’t let anyone other than patients into the building unless you’re a minor. Covid is taken very seriously and they utilize all precautions one can make sans closing the place down, including the minimalization of people allowed. I asked a few months ago if they’ve had patients come down with Covid (this is an allergy and asthma place), and it was clear they’ve lost too many. Even so, I’ve told them if they want to get paid, they have to deal with David. So they let him in. Besides, all of the women who work the front desk love David, so he gets to be the exception.
All depending on what time we go to the clinic, we usually either go straight home (if I have an early 7:30 AM appointment) or sometimes if it’s around lunch, we’ll grab a bite to eat before going home. Lunch doesn’t usually happen, but when it does, I truly appreciate it. This is really the only opportunity David and I have to spend time by ourselves (as if we were on an actual date) because Ryan usually doesn’t go with us to this appointment (but then again, sometimes he does.) And my appointment only happens once every three weeks, so it’s not like it’s even an every-other-week thing. It’s like a once every two to three-month thing when the opportunity to enjoy a meal alone with David happens. I was looking forward to having lunch with him this Friday, so we could sit and eat a leisurely meal and enjoy each other’s company before going home to our daily grind.
Not to Be
Only David was most assuredly not in the mood to grab lunch. Why? Well, besides spending the extra money (I mean for Pete’s sake, it was only lunch)…beats the hell out of me. He wasn’t in the mood to share any other reason why either.
Me as we’re leaving the clinic: Why don’t we get some lunch?
David: No. We’re not going out to eat. I’m going home.
Me: Really? I’d kill for a glass of delicious iced tea.
David: McDonald’s has good tea, don’t they? I’ll run you through there.
Me: McDonald’s? I don’t think so. Besides, I was hoping to spend a nice lunch with you.
David: FINE THEN! WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?!
David: Whatever. I’ll take you to Zoe’s.
Me: I don’t think so. You’re in a shitty mood. Forget it. That ship has sailed. Take me home.
David: You got it!
Things Left Unsaid
I didn’t say any of the things I was thinking to my husband. (They weren’t worth saying.) He really hurt my feelings, though. Matter of fact, I haven’t talked to him since. I went home and took a very long nap. He let several hours pass before he came into our bedroom and talked to me — as though everything were great and nothing had happened.
I didn’t say one word.
After a few minutes, he got up and left. Apparently, I offended him by not speaking to him.
I’ve had an incredibly down week. I don’t know why exactly, but I sense something impending that worries/scares the hell out of me. I couldn’t tell you what that is or why that is. It could be hormones, I suppose. When you can’t find any other reason for feeling down, blame hormones, right? Sometimes this happens just before I get sick, too. I don’t feel sick though.
All I know is that a glass or two of cold iced tea and good, light-hearted conversation with my husband in a nice setting would have meant a whole lot this afternoon. It’s trite but true, sometimes it’s the littlest things that mean the most.
I’ll get over this. When shit like this happens, I always do.
I guarantee you, he doesn’t even remember it happened.
As I sit here and write, it occurs to me that while I’m bellyaching about a missed opportunity and perceived slight by my husband, real tragedy has happened over the last couple of weeks — all the shit with Afghanistan and Hurricane Ida. Some of these horrors are ongoing. When put into perspective, I really have nothing to complain about. Maybe it’s all the bad news, plus Covid continuing to increase in numbers, again, especially among the young; and more news that other lethal variants continue to emerge — and let’s not forget the massive wildfires in the western half of our country this year — maybe that’s why I’m feeling so down. I have faith that this too will pass. And it will. Just wish it hadn’t happened in the first place.
Until I get over this, music —
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I hope everyone has a wonderful Labor Day Weekend!