Advil, please

I don’t cotton to everything I read or hear. However, I’ll concede, there’s always the chance that something within my sphere of sight and sound could plant a seed into my subconscious mind, and I could end up self-fulfilling whatever it was that I heard or read. So when I recently found out that Mercury was in retrograde until around November 20, and one of the ways it’s supposed to negatively impact us is in the area of communication, I admit, I was skeptical and kind of blew it off. PUH-LEEZE!

However, right now I’m re-thinking my snap judgment based upon the following.

Some questions just lead to other questions and…headaches…and painting oneself into a corner. Take for example the conversation that Ryan, David and I had last week —

Ryan: Did Grandma always think she was right?

Me: Yes. Yes, she did.

Ryan: Do parents always think they’re right?

Me: I think most people think that what they say and do is right.

Ryan: So Grandma was always right.

Me: No. But she thought she was and she was right most of the time.

Ryan: Are kids expected to believe that their parents are always right?

Me: No. But kids aren’t always right either.

Ryan: When did you find out Grandma wasn’t always right?

Me: Well, when I grew up, I guess, and learned a few things for myself.

Ryan: So you were right and she was wrong?

Me: Weeeelllll.…I think she was right about a lot more things than I gave her credit for when I was younger.

Ryan: So parents are always right?

Me: No. I think they try to be but sometimes they aren’t. Sometimes they are, though. What about you? Don’t you think that what you say and do is right? Otherwise, why say or do it?

Ryan: No. I try to be right but my brain always tells me I’m wrong.

Me: That sucks. I hate when my brain is being mean to me like that. Do you tell that part of your brain that it’s wrong for telling you you’re wrong?

David: *nervous chuckle*

Ryan: I’ve tried. It just tells me I’m wrong for telling it that it’s wrong when it tells me I’m wrong. So I guess it’s right. I’m wrong.

Me: Right. That’s a tough one. That reminds me of the blog post I was reading from the guy who was judging others for judging others. Only I’m not sure he knew he was judging others. I was amused anyway.

Ryan: Why is that?

Me: Why was I amused?

Ryan: No. Why was he judging others?

Me: Ryan, probably because he thought he was right. Listen, I’m not sure, but I think I might be wrong about everything we just talked about. You might want to ask David, though. He could probably explain all of this better than I can. Also, I need some Advil. That I know I’m right about. *starting to rub my temples*

Ryan: Am I giving you a headache, Mother?

Me: *now rubbing my eyes* OH FUUUU….nny, you should ask, son. Nope. I think it’s just the change in weather. That’s all.

Me: DAVID? Do you think you could help Ryan out? *me giving my husband a rescue-me-and-take-over-right-now look*

David: * frowning and mouthing “No” to me out of Ryan’s line of sight*

Ryan: David—

Me: *me smiling at David as I hand Ryan’s questioning baton off to him*

David:  Ryan, listen, let me think about this and I’ll get back to you. Okay? Let’s watch some TV right now. How about a little Monk? *gives me a look of superiority as he puts Monk on for Ryan*

The End…for now

I dunno. Was this coincidence? Self-fulfilling prophecy? What about y’all? Have you had any weird communication problems or breakdowns that come to mind when you said the wrong thing or misunderstood something or got caught up in a conversation that you wish you hadn’t? I mean, just since Halloween? Though if you have any communication breakdown stories that come to mind that happened before Halloween, I’d love to hear those too! 

Music from the mighty Led Zeppelin, y’all ~

And just because it’s Monday and we’re discussing miscommunications, etc. ~ I heard this song Saturday night on Coast to Coast and thought it might have been Jack White. Apparently, I’m not the only one who’s mistakenly thought this. Turns out this is Leopold and His Fiction. Up until last night, I never knew this group existed. Right now, I can’t get enough of this song. Also, if I ever get another male cat — David says, “No. Not going to happen.” — I’m naming him Leopold, David! And yeah, it could happen…because cats happen, David!

Sparkle on and have a great week, you wayward badasses!


26 thoughts on “Advil, please”

  1. My whole life is a communication breakdown lol!
    It’s funny, but every once in a while, I’ll go on these “delete everything” benders, where I go through my Facebook/Twitter/Instagram and just delete all my old posts, likes, comments… anything older than a month, usually. I’ve never paid attention to whether Mercury was retrograde when I’ve done it in the past, but I just did it recently on Facebook and now I’m wondering if maybe the planets might have something to do with it.

    • Adie,
      I’ve always wondered why you did that. I always figured that you just like to keep things minimal; which I think is amazing. Personally, I’m not sure I could do that, but I probably should. Mona

      • Minimalism is part of it. I don’t like having a lot of online clutter (I don’t like having a lot of real life clutter either, but online clutter is easier to get rid of lol). A lot of times when I like something, especially on Twitter, it’s so I can go back and look at it/reply to it later. Then it gets buried and I forget about it. By the time I remember, it’s way past relevance so there’s no point in “keeping” it.

        A lot of it is just that I don’t see the point in having things sitting on the internet forever. Especially really old stuff. I’m not the same person I was when I wrote/posted that, so I don’t really want it lingering. Or there’s stuff that’s just not relevant anymore. Or that never really mattered in the first place (I mean, do people really need to know that ten months ago I found a pigeon feather at the bus station? Probably not).

        It can be a pain, though. I have old accounts on other websites that I’ve long been locked out of with no way to recover them because I don’t have access to the emails I used for them. They just sit there. Taunting me. Same thing with Twitter. After the latest 3000 likes, if you want to unlike something, you have to like it again (but it still shows that you liked it to begin with)–which means that people get notifications that you’re liking their tweets from two years ago. I’m not sure which is worse–having a cluttered “likes” list or someone being notified I liked their obscure tweet from 2015.

        • I don’t know which is more complicated, keeping stuff or getting rid of it. LOL! Who knew that I’d get so much junk in my email every. single. day. I used to try and keep up with it, purging on a daily basis. But it seems the more you get rid of, the more you’re bombarded with. Every once in awhile, I go through and try to get rid of the clutter. It does feel good to do that but I have other things that vie for my attention. Also, I hate that whenever I buy something in a store, they now push to get my email. Every. damn. time. I always tell them I’m not interested. Then I have to tell them at least one more time before they get it — they aren’t getting my email so they can clutter it up with deals and coupons and notices — all of which I don’t need. Everyone wants money that I don’t have! HA! I feel your pain about getting locked out of your older accounts. I have one account like that. Probably others as well. One of these days, I’m going to get my social media life together and make it make sense and work for me not against me. So what color did you go with and how did it turn out — blue, green or purple? ~ M

          • Agreed! I use an old email for things that I know will be spammy, like if I have to put my email in to play an online game or something.

            I haven’t dyed it yet, but it looks like blue is the clear winner. Which is cool because that’s kind of what I was leaning towards anyway. I’ll probably do the actual coloring tomorrow and take pics this weekend to put up on Facebook.

  2. Oddly enough lately I’ve been communicating clearly. It might be because I’m starting to cocoon for the winter, seeing fewer people, thus not talking so much. That might be the key to not having miscommunications, don’t talk to anyone! 😉

    • Hey Ally,
      I like the idea of cocooning for the winter. After a nice weekend here in the DFW area, a cold front is about to blow through. It’s going to drop the temps about 20 degrees in less than 2 hrs. Brrr. My idea of cocooning is to wrap up in the warm, fuzzy, pink robe my daughter gave me for Christmas last year, along with warm, fuzzy slippers. Something warm to drink (on super cold days, coffee with cream and sugar works) and a cat and a dog to cuddle with and I’m set. A nice fire going in the fireplace and, yeah…okay, you’ve talked me into it!

      Holy cow, the front just arrived. Wow. Gotta go. Later, gator! Mona

  3. It sounds to me like you were trying to maintain a tolerance of ambivalence in the face of his black-and-white thinking. He was looking for something to use to beat himself up with mentally (like I do) and you refused to give it. No wonder you got a headache! That was amazingly well done. And it wasn’t wrong to employ distraction to break the cycle in his head, either. You are both very good parents, my friend.

    • Lille,
      How right you are! Thanks for understanding. Lots of different types of miscommunications, here; but such is life. I’m so glad Advil was invented! ~ M

  4. Mona,
    Last night at dinner, three people put credit cards on the table to pay for dinner, including me. The oldest, most-senior-in-many-ways person, a person you don’t argue with, pushed mine aside and said Yours is no good (= put that away) but accepted the card of the other person, and they proceeded to split a $350 dinner bill. The wife of the other person was instantly, visibly, evermore miffed at this turn of events, but the anger was toward ME, I think, if I am properly interpreting the nasty tone and leaving without saying goodbye. I can’t be sure, but it seems that what I DIDN’T do/say is the problem: I didn’t resist the older person, I didn’t make a scene and insist on paying. I deferred, I let things play out. Bad plan!! This is not necessarily a case of miscommunication, but when I read your post I thought: You do your best, you try to read the players and the signals correctly (I am not a conflict-seeker), and STILL you get in trouble and NEED ADVIL! In my case the choices were 1. argue with a person I refuse to argue with (and who is much more present in my world) or 2. put my oar in forcefully (against my nature) to keep peace with another person. You see (I hope) why I chose what I did, but I will pay for that choice!
    Ah, the navigations of everyday life! We were sailing along famously and then BAM! Iceberg!

    • Patricia,
      Talk about your classic no-win situation. I’m so sorry that happened. It’s awkward and there’s really not much you can do about it except hope that the woman who got her nose out of joint gets over it fairly quickly. Chances are, you were just a catalyst that evening for something that’s been going on between this woman and her husband for a much longer time. You just got caught up in the middle on this day and because I strongly believe you’re an empath, you felt every bit of hostility and tension and it felt like it was directed toward you. I have fully been in that boat before. Trust me, this wasn’t your fault and there wasn’t anything you did wrong. Some things you simply cannot control and it’s just not fair. If we ever get a chance to meet in person and you remind me, I’ll tell you a story that’s similar but that I can’t share here. Anyway, I hate that this happened. It spoils what otherwise would have been a really nice dinner! Ugh. Big hugs to you, my friend! Mona

  5. Yep been there done that! I’m going to agree that I too have communication breakdowns not just with my kids but with my mother too, ugh. Because? She always thinks she’s right, and I know that on a lot of things she’s not. lol

    • Huntress,
      Headaches coming from always right Moms are the worst! Moms have their truths. We have ours. They are sometimes the same and many times, they’re very different. Here, my friend, have a couple of Advil on me! LOL. Mona

  6. I’m trying to understand what Mercury being in retrograde could possibly have to do with communications here on Earth. It takes Mercury less than three of our months to orbit the sun so it must be retrograde pretty frequently. That reminds me of a kid I knew in school who was frequently retrograde. He was bad at communicating and also shaving before he started junior high.
    At least I can understand why this hurts your head. And also why ‘Monk’ was a good choice. It may not be as retrograde as painting your cabinets avocado green or wearing bellbottoms, but its final episode aired ten years ago, so it clearly reflects a simpler time.

    • Christopher,
      Excellent question and the answer is: from a scientific perspective, absolutely nothing; which is why my first thought was hogwash! Also, you’re right that Mercury is in retrograde 3 to 4 times a year for approximately 2-3 weeks at a time. In astrology, Mercury is supposed to govern communication and technology so when it goes retrograde, it’s supposed to wreak havoc in that area. Other areas, too, I suppose. Here’s just one of many articles written about this phenomenon ~
      So when communication started to break down between Ryan and me because clearly I wasn’t at the top of my game, so I called on my husband to help me out (tag, he was it) — what the hell, why not blame it on Mercury in retrograde? Of course, by this time, David understood perfectly what was happening and went straight to distraction for Ry.

      In the above instance, when someone (my son, in this case) who perseverates/ruminates in a negative way and is trying to confirm their negative thinking because they have so little control over their intrusive thoughts, logic goes out the window and the best way to handle that situation so it doesn’t escalate is to find a way to disrupt those thoughts. Distraction is a perfect tool to do this for my son who has autism. He really doesn’t enjoy watching TV much on a regular basis; but he loves Monk and it becomes a welcome and enjoyable distraction, so thank God for Monk! Usually by the end of the hour long show (we keep several recorded at any given time for just these moments with Ry), those negative and intrusive thoughts have left…until next time. If I’m lucky, the Advil’s kicked in long before the end of the show as well! If Mercury in retrograde really were to blame, though, I have to think that the Monk episodes would have been inexplicably erased or the TV would have been on the blink, etc. Thankfully, they were not. Anyway, just another sparkle in my life that tends to go wayward– hence, Wayward Sparkles. I hope I answered all your questions. If not, please feel free to ask! 🙂 Mona

  7. My younger son is also quite the pro at making me second guess any and all of my answers to his seemingly innocent enough questions, which typically leave me wondering if I do, in fact, possess any knowledge at all anymore or if the last of my brain cells have finally rolled on out of my head and onto the floor for me to trip on in broad daylight. 😛

    • QG,
      The moment we begin suspecting that we know very little, if anything at all, therein lies the beginning of wisdom, Young Grasshopper! Good luck on your journey of wisdom! I’m sure Jett will be there for you in case you trip! 🙂 ~ M

  8. I never feel like the kids or Coach are listening yo me, does that count? Cannot say I have noticed an uptick since Halloween. Status quo= they do not hear me speak.

    I am often blown away that my two sisters STILL run everything past our mom. I finally understood a few years back that my mom was NOT always right. I think that is part of growing up!

    • Hey Ernie,
      I agree, it never feels good not to be heard. When my daughter was young, she was fairly shy and would speak so softly that we wouldn’t be able to hear her. Years spent telling her to speak up have paid off. Not only does she speak louder, much louder, but she gives well thought out points or arguments — with sass. Can you tell I’m beaming?

      However, sometimes when we want people to listen to us, I’ve found just the opposite to be true. If I speak very softly, almost a whisper, it tends to make people listen a little closer. It is to their detriment if they choose not to since I’m the one who’s washing the clothes, running the household, etc. I don’t know if that would work in your household, but it’s been known to work wonders in mine.

      I know my mom didn’t like to be wrong. As I said above, over time, she’s proved to be mostly right. What I’ve determined is that people, in general, don’t like it when someone turns out to be right over and over again. I guess they find it annoying. I know my family makes a big deal out of it whenever I’m wrong about something. *rolling my eyes* But such is life.

  9. This was today. I was feeling so stable this morning too.
    One of my semi-supervisors came in and gave me a coupon for a free cookie as a thanks for my hard work during preregistration.
    She’d promised to take me and the other assistants out for coffee, but instead I got this coupon. What went through my head was “Oh, she’s wised up, embittering; she doesn’t want to take the assistants out for coffee like she used to. Or maybe it’s too expensive. She cares less… it was inevitable I suppose.”
    That happened in a flash. What I said was, “Oh! Thank you!”
    She’s pretty sharp, because she noticed my microexpressions. She said, “You do like those kind of cookies right?”
    I was like, “I like all kinds of cookies!”
    After she left, I thought about it and realized I must have looked disappointed and she read it. In an effort to make her know I appreciated her gift, I found her again and I said, “Thank you again for the cookies! If I looked disappointed it was because I thought maybe we weren’t going for coffee after all.”
    She said, “Oh, no, I still plan to do that!”
    Then we talked about the place where we were going to go. I was like, “I like Shortwave because I got coffee beans there which were as good as this place I went in Tulsa where they served cold brew like Scotch in a glass with one giant ice cube and it was fruity and delicious blah blah”
    But I restrained myself. I had already re-explained ONE gesture today.
    Then I had to eat some chocolate to resugar myself because I was clearly losing it.
    As I ate my chocolate, I got an email to go to a coffee meeting with her. And I noticed I was the only one invited. It was just going to be her and me. I didn’t realize I was the only assistant working under her right now.
    If she can read microexpressions like that, she’s probably also capable of making a really graceful save when I asked her about the coffee date thing and say, “I was just thinking about that!” When really she was hoping to get out of it with just a cookie coupon.
    In an effort not to look ungrateful, I may have taken advantage of her kindness and hooked her into both a cookie coupon AND an awkward coffee date. Now I look greedy and ungrateful.
    Immediately after this, I fucked up a detail on one of her emailed requests… so make that greedy, ungrateful, and inept.

  10. Sarah,
    You sound a little stressed. Do I need to sit down and watch Monk with you, too? Because I’ll do it! And we’ll eat cookies and drink coffee or cocoa with alcohol, so it will all be okay. It would be okay even if we skipped Monk and just talked. Okay? In the meantime, Advil works, long baths with bubbles and neck and head massages. Distraction with a healing touch! Also, you can always come here on any of my posts or call me or come over to my email and vent because sometimes we all just gotta. I don’t think Mercury rules over any of those things! And even if that’s the case, screw Mercury. A warm hug to you, my friend! It was good to hear from you and your boss is lucky to have you on her team. I hope you have a good rest of the week! Milk and cookies, Mona

    • I do actually love Monk, too. If Monk with Mona doesn’t help, a nice Peppermint Patty with Mona will <3 (hot cocoa with peppermint schnapps, yasss)

  11. Since Halloween have I had communication problems? Yes. More than once. Hey, you try living with your hubby and two, eighty pound dogs in an RV! Do I have any answers? Mercury in retrograde? I thought that had ended… let’s go with with what is Mercury in retrograde!


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